海角大神

Here鈥檚 a story that purports to be about comedian Steve Martin, but it鈥檚 really about you and me 鈥� and social media.

Steve Martin is a hilarious man. So hilarious, we had to get a Thesaurus to try to sum him up: jocular, rollicking, thigh-slapping, rib tickling, jovial. Maybe you鈥檝e seen his movies (鈥淭he Jerk,鈥� 鈥淔ather of the Bride,鈥� 鈥�Parenthood,鈥� 鈥�Pink Panther Strikes Again鈥�). Maybe you鈥檝e listened to his Grammy-winning comedy albums (鈥淟et鈥檚 Get Small,鈥� 鈥滱 Wild and Crazy Guy鈥�). Ever on the cutting edge, now聽Steve Martin's gone out and gotten all social media on us.

(If, like us, you've heard enough about how social media has taken over and changed our lives, skip the next six paragraphs to get to the funny part.)

In his, just-released book, 鈥淭he Ten, Make That Nine, Habits of Very Organized People. Make That Ten. The Tweets of Steve Martin,鈥� Mr. Martin has collected the tweets he started as a promotional tool and then got hooked on for their comedy potential.

鈥淚 found the limits exciting, and liked that these thoughts popped up randomly on someone else鈥檚 device, perhaps catching them at an odd moment,鈥� he writes in the book鈥檚 introduction. 鈥淚 also liked that these thoughts popped up randomly in me, and kept me on my comedy toes.鈥�

He said he started tweeting around Labor Day of 2010, and 鈥渄idn鈥檛 really understand the ins and outs of Twitter, and it wasn鈥檛 until about four months later that I noticed that people were tweeting me back. Then, I started noticing how tuned in and funny the responses were, and then a few months later I started saving the best of them (cut and pasted, by hand, by me) in a file. This was real enjoyment: I would run to my wife quoting someone's latest clever response, laughing hard.鈥�

OK, we鈥檙e almost to the funny part (just three more paragraphs). But for those who need an excuse to let go and be funny and still feel like you are participating in the social gestalt of our age, here is a quote from a man who has written a book about the topic.

"Shakespeare's observation that 'brevity is the soul of wit' has never been more true than on Twitter, and, in the case of Steve Martin, that wit is his patented cracked, brilliant sense of humor," says Paul Levinson, author of "New New Media," in an e-mail. "The one-liner has always been the comedian's punchline, but it has found its ideal form in Twitter's 140-character missive."

"And, as is the case with all new new media, in which consumers become producers, the funny lines on Twitter come not only from pros like Martin, but anyone with a slightly deranged funny thought in their head,鈥� he says.

So here we go: The top tweets in this book that are not written by Steve Martin.

1. Martin tweeted about his newly released album: 鈥淩are Bird Alert #3 on Amazon. I鈥檓 as happy as a clam. Wait. Are clams really happy?鈥� The response from @gropious3: 鈥淭he chilling sound of clam-laughter has caused many fishermen to quit the sea.鈥�

2. Martin鈥檚 tweeted: 鈥淔inally thinking about getting a computer." The response from聽@timdyson: 鈥淢ake sure it has an 鈥楢NY鈥� key for all those sites that say, 鈥榟it any key to continue.鈥� Mine doesn鈥檛 and it鈥檚 so annoying.鈥�

3. Martin tweeted: 鈥淭rusting wife angry at me for violating sacred pact of marriage. A married man, she claims, does not wear a bustle.鈥� The response聽from @sarabuchan: 鈥渨ell, not in the FRONT. That鈥檚 probably what has made her angry.鈥�

4. Martin tweeted: 鈥淔ound some great new twitter pants. Tight red spandex with calf protectors. I鈥檓 sure the quality of tweets will improve now." The response聽from @BuddyGott: 鈥淚 have the exact same twitter outfit. Let鈥檚 not wear them at the same place at the same time, ok?鈥�

5. Martin tweeted: 鈥淭hinking of moving to聽Alabama聽because of ease of spelling the state. Only four letters to remember.鈥� The response聽from @akmoss: 鈥渋t鈥檚 why I moved to聽Oslo." And from聽@dandelions8910: 鈥淎lso it鈥檚 always first on those pick your state drop down menus.鈥�

6. Martin tweeted: 鈥淭rying to get my new nickname to catch on: 鈥淭he Elegant Argentinean.鈥� The response聽from@thevastydeep: 鈥淎ssume Corky the Goat Herd was taken?"

7. Martin tweeted: 鈥淚 have decided not to run for president. Have skeleton in closet, which is actual skeleton in actual closet.鈥� The response聽from @12SecondHorror: 鈥淭his is really a lot tamer than most politician鈥檚 skeletons. You鈥檇 have a real shot on the 鈥業 only killed a guy鈥� platform."

8. Martin tweeted: 鈥淭ook Tylenol PM in the morning, and was arrested.鈥� The response聽from@JoeNewberry: 鈥淚 suppose it is only a matter of time before you are listening to AM radio at night.鈥�

9. Martin tweeted: 鈥淛ust bought sexy new body stocking. In beige. With eyeholes. Currently walking dog in neighborhood. Tinfoil hat looks good, too.鈥澛燭he response from @Italia_Federich: 鈥淐opy cat.鈥�

10. Martin tweeted: 鈥淚llegal online tweet Poker: I have a King, a Six, an Ace, a Club and a Jack of deuces. I bet a dollar.鈥� The response聽from@JoshJack: 鈥淚 have a 4,5,7, jack and a skip card from UNO. I raise you a monopoly $20!

Now when you鈥檙e done laughing, try to remember this is a serious piece. Martin is impressed with how funny you might be and probably don鈥檛 even know it. Here is what he told an NPR interviewer.

"I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. I had a friend in聽Texas, and his wife told me they were at an amusement park, and they came up to one of those maps [of] the amusement park and it said, YOU ARE HERE. And he looked at it and he said to her, 'How does it know?' These things appear on people's phones in the middle of the day. It's not like people are gathered in a hall and they're expecting something funny. You know, talk about the unexpected."

Got it? Now get out there and tweet.