海角大神

I聽can鈥檛 say I wasn鈥檛 warned.聽

When my wife and I were talking about having a grand-finale third child, she intoned, 鈥淵ou know, it could be twins. ... Would you be OK with that?鈥� I brushed off this impossibility.

But now, one year in, I know the answer to the question: What鈥檚 it like to have twins?聽

It鈥檚 like being shot out of a cannon straight into a giant whirling, sloshing blender 鈥� plonk! 鈥� and whenever things start to slow down a bit, someone hits the pulse button again. It鈥檚 like being dropped onto a treadmill that鈥檚 set to a dead sprint. You are not allowed to get off. Now, do that for four years.

For the more quantitatively oriented, perhaps some number crunching will help. In one weekend, my wife and I did 32 bottle feedings, with each one taking at least 20 minutes. That鈥檚 about 11 hours of feeding; factor in more than 40 diaper changes, and you鈥檙e looking at gobs of time spent on milk and diapers alone 鈥� no dishwashing, bottle cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, or cooking included. Did I mention we also have 6- and 8-year-old boys?聽

Yes, those bundles have unleashed a special kind of bedlam into my life; fortunately, they have also taught me the best way to live it.聽

When I first learned that we were having twins, I promptly fired up the worry train.聽

Would my wife, now carrying two babies, be OK? Would the babies? What would happen to our older boys, who would now have to be raised by wolves? With seven years of parenting under my belt, I grasped the outlines of what this was going to demand of me. It was daunting.聽

For the record, I wasn鈥檛 wrong. Once we brought the babies home, the slackline of life grew taut, its pace quickened. My wife and I somehow managed because we were doing it together. But when she returned to work, and I became the twins鈥� primary caregiver, I soon felt stretched beyond my limits.聽

I could鈥檝e been a hero, but I didn鈥檛 handle it particularly well.聽

I became resentful about everything that was being asked of me, the unceasing demands on my time and energy, the relentless and punishing pace of life, the inability to step away for even a moment. I wanted to do the things that I wanted to do. I wanted my life back.聽

See the problem?

I didn鈥檛, until I stumbled upon these words from C.S. Lewis:聽

鈥淭he great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one鈥檚 鈥榦wn,鈥� or 鈥榬eal鈥� life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one鈥檚 real life 鈥� the life God is sending one day by day.鈥澛�

You don鈥檛 need to have twin babies for Lewis鈥� words to resonate. They offer a critical insight: The incessant and often unwelcome interruptions we all experience, in whatever form they take, aren鈥檛 detours from life but signposts telling us how to live it.

So, when I finally lie down at the end of a long day, only to have my first grader wake up on cue with an upset tummy? It鈥檚 time to get up. When I鈥檓 writing and my wife hands me a baby with a dirty diaper? It鈥檚 time to clean up. When I鈥檓 watching the game and the bathroom door suddenly comes flying off its hinges? It鈥檚 time to call my father-in-law 鈥� he鈥檚 very handy.聽

If you embrace Lewis鈥� instruction that each unpleasantry is fully worthy of our time and attention, domestic drudgery is transformed from something we have to do into something we are called to do.聽

So, how am I faring these days, basking as I am in the golden afterglow of divine revelation?聽

I wish I could tell you that my kicking, screaming, and grumbling are no more. That without fail, I carry out my domestic duties with devotion and diligence. The truth is, I do more backsliding than a luger.

But I like to think that I rebound and refocus more quickly, because I have clarity about my mission. And, behind my dramatic sighs and eye rolls, I have found meaning and fulfillment in the life I鈥檓 being called to live day by day, moment by moment.