海角大神

My nephews visited the farm every summer, a respite for my sisters and a chance to show three city boys the joys of country living. Once adolescence got them in its grip, the tenor of the visits changed. Relentless competition over everything and the accompanying irritated insults became the soundtrack of my days. The summer the eldest turned 15, we (and by 鈥渨e,鈥� I mean me) built a baseball field as a memorial to my dad, a long-suffering Brooklyn Dodgers fan who taught me everything about the greatest game ever invented.

I imagined that a 鈥淔ield of Dreams鈥� of camaraderie would bloom, where someone could stop hating on their younger brother long enough to tell him what a great arm he had. They would feel what it鈥檚 like to connect on the sweet spot of the bat or get your glove on a line drive down the third base line in the nick of time. But the boys were interested only in what the team T-shirts should look like and in finding legit major league bases instead of the lame set I鈥檇 bought online.

I played my last mom card from atop the tractor the day 鈥渨e鈥� broke ground. 鈥淏oys, I shouldn鈥檛 have to ask for help; you should want to help.鈥�

But I couldn鈥檛 sell it, and I was outnumbered.

Leveling the field with the bucket attachment was a struggle. There is no 鈥済entle鈥� setting on a John Deere. But in the end, the boys could practice fielding bad hops off the boulders I鈥檇 exposed.

Content with the good-enough ballfield, we played our inaugural game. It was summer. It was hot. Crabby teenage boys made Doubleday鈥檚 perfect invention a nightmare.

鈥淛ust swing at anything, jerk!鈥�

鈥淲alks are boring and stupid!鈥�

鈥淲hy is the sun always in my eyes?鈥�

鈥淒o we have batting gloves?鈥�

I was relegated to catcher 鈥� the position no one wanted because the quality of pitching was subpar, and the batter鈥檚 insults were relentless. 鈥淒o you even know what a strike zone is?鈥� 鈥淛ust throw it underhand, loser!鈥�

The job of Daisy, our dog, was to snatch any baseballs not caught by someone sulking in the outfield and hide them in the tall grass. We instituted the Daisy Ball rule. If she got hold of the ball, you could take your base and any runners could advance. They鈥檇 scream 鈥淒aisy Ball!鈥� in jubilant unison 鈥� the only rule they ever agreed upon.

Not entirely fed up with the endless arguing and complaining, I decided we鈥檇 have a home run derby the following week. If you hit the ball into the pond about 150 feet from home plate, you got a $25 iTunes gift card. I wanted them to pitch to one another, to encourage and support. It didn鈥檛 matter to me who won, but it mattered a lot to them. They went out there every evening after dinner and hit buckets of balls. Their caustic remarks were delightfully silenced by the crack of rawhide on ash 鈥� or metal, if you鈥檙e gonna cheat, jerk.

The quietest nephew ran in one night after everyone else had given up.

鈥淎unt Amy, Aunt Amy 鈥� I did it! I got one in the pond! I kept throwing balls up in the air and I finally hit one. It was pretty much a rocket right into the pond.鈥�

鈥淭hat鈥檚 incredible!鈥� I said. 鈥淟et鈥檚 go up and fish it out so you can sign it.鈥�

鈥淣o, no, it鈥檚 OK,鈥� he said hastily. 鈥淚t鈥檚 too dark. We鈥檒l go look for it tomorrow.鈥�

It was then that I knew.

Later, with everyone in bed, including me, I heard a tiny knock on my door.

鈥淎unt Amy, are you awake?鈥�

鈥淏arely honey, come on in.鈥�

The door opened. The quiet nephew came in and sat at the foot of my bed.

鈥淚 can鈥檛 sleep.鈥�

鈥淥h dear, what鈥檚 wrong?鈥� I said.

鈥淚 have something to tell you, but it鈥檚 kind of embarrassing.鈥�

He turned away.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 hit the ball in the pond,鈥� he said. 鈥淚 wanted to, and I tried really hard, but I didn鈥檛. I don鈥檛 know why I lied.鈥�

鈥淥h, honey, I knew it when you said you didn鈥檛 want to go find it.鈥�

鈥淲hy didn鈥檛 you say something?鈥�

鈥淏ecause I wanted you to know what it feels like to have a lie roll around in your head. I wanted you to know how good it is to tell the truth, no matter what. Do you feel better?鈥�

鈥淵es. Yes, I do.鈥�

鈥淭hen I鈥檓 happy to announce that you are the winner of the home run derby.鈥�

鈥淏ut I didn鈥檛 put it in the pond.鈥�

鈥淏ut you told a hard truth,鈥� I said, 鈥渁nd that鈥檚 a whole lot more important.鈥�

鈥淚 love you, Aunt Amy.鈥�

鈥淚 love you too. Take out the garbage before you go to bed,鈥� I said.

He didn鈥檛.