海角大神

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have an eight-year-old daughter, Shiloh, who wants to dress like a boy and be called 鈥淛ohn鈥澛犫�� and Brad and Angie have no objections.

This has caused some to criticize their parenting, while other veteran parents may smile at the memory of the many fashion and naming choices their own kids went through. Despite the astronaut, princess, and/or superhero years that may define epochs of childhood, their effects rarely last into adulthood.

This little tempest dates back to 2010 when Ms. Jolie told media, 鈥淪ome kids wear capes and want to be Superman, and she wants to be like her brothers. It鈥檚 who she is. It鈥檚 been a surprise to us and it鈥檚 really interesting, but she鈥檚 so much more than that 鈥� she鈥檚 funny and sweet and pretty.鈥�

Images of Shiloh a.k.a. John on the red carpet in a boy鈥檚 suit at a recent premier of 'Unbroken,'聽with her short blond hair slicked into a boyish do, have given television parenting pundits the opportunity to get all manner of judgy over the Brangelina parenting approach of allowing their daughter to be who she wants to be.

For those who look askance at this, I have two words 鈥� Buzz Lightyear.

We have four sons ranging in age from 11 to 21.聽Avery, now 15, spent more nearly two years 鈥撀爁rom ages six to eight 鈥� as Buzz Lightyear, in a costume he would not exchange for any other outfit without a fight or a great deal of coaxing.

That made school quite a challenge.

Many days, after much bargaining, he agreed to don his alter ego clothing for the classroom, only to make a beeline for the one-piece Buzz costume the second he crossed our threshold.

Before him his older brothers Zoltan (now 21) and Ian (now 19), when they were right around John/Shiloh鈥檚 age, spent years fighting over the fact that they were both Batman.聽

Quin, now 11, was Thomas the Tank Engine for so long I began to worry he might start belching smoke.

Kids love to get into character. For most kids who come from non-celebrity homes, that often means being a Disney or comic book character.

However, perhaps for the child of two actors, getting into character runs a bit deeper and may indeed involve more subtle choices of heroes.

Shiloh's choice to be John reminds me of when Avery was in his Buzz phase and his best friend at the time, a boy, painted his fingernails daily and wore his mom鈥檚 scarves and accessories.

While Buzz was Avery鈥檚 hero at the time, his friend鈥檚 hero was his mother, who held their home together while his military dad was on one long Navy deployment after another.

I thought the mom was wise to allow her son to make his own choices and help him feel confident enough to hold his ground if anyone questioned his attire.

Also, I admired his father, a military dad, for rolling with his son鈥檚 choice of accessories 鈥撀燼nd nail decorations.

Once, I recall hearing the boy鈥檚 father explaining his philosophy of support to another dad at a local park who had given him an eye-roll after seeing the boy鈥檚 nails and making some comment about how women shouldn't encourage 鈥渢hat kind of behavior鈥� in boys.

The military dad politely explained that he had so little time with his kids that he refused to waste any of it trying to force them into molds that didn't fit them and in so doing potentially risk their memories of him; if he died while on deployment, he didn't want his son鈥檚 last memory of him to be one of disapproval.

He also told the other dad that if his son was actually finding a different sexual orientation and not going through a phase, it was going to happen with or without his support.

No amount of manly clothing and polish-free nails would change who his son was.

He knew that while his career might take him away in body for long stretches of time, he was going to support his child鈥檚 choices in every way possible, 24-7.

Jolie and Pitt are doing something very wise and brave by setting an example for other parents to get past the idea that boys will be boys and girls will be princesses, by allowing their child to explore who she is and trust they will recognize her, not by her dress, but by who she is day-to-day 鈥� their child.