海角大神

Jeannie Crutchfield, a mom from Casper, Wy. just upped the ante on the emerging practice of kid shaming when she dogged her daughter on school grounds to publicly humiliate the girl for ditching classes.

Ms. Crutchfield didn鈥檛 simply follow and film her daughter, Ricki, 14, from class to class, but loudly scolded the teenager in a way that some parents, including me, found cringe-worthy.聽

"This is what happens when Ricki can鈥檛 act right. Her mom has to come to the school to record her to get it through her head,鈥� Crutchfield begins the video.

As she follows in her daughter鈥檚 steps, Crutchfield adds, 鈥淲e鈥檙e going to hold hands and we鈥檙e going to go to class together. Isn鈥檛 that great? Yeah! We鈥檙e going to class together,鈥� the mom rants in a sing-song taunt. 鈥淣ow let鈥檚 see how cute you think is sit with mom during class."

Listening to this mom rail at her daughter reminds me of the way some young children often begin a roll-on-the-grass fight by shouting, 鈥淥h yeah? Well, see how you like it when I do this!鈥�

Crutchfield then posted the video walk of shame on Facebook. Some 30,000 views and 800 thumbs up later the video is now getting national news attention.

I wanted to know how widely accepted this kind of extreme teen shaming has become, so I sent the video to two dozen parents via Facebook message and found an even 50-50 split between some parents thinking this was the right punishment and others thinking it was too much.

鈥淭his seems like a perfect example of traditional parenting (not being your kid's friend, but being a parent and providing oversight and discipline to make sure your kid stays in line),鈥� wrote one mom Christina Schweiss.

鈥淚t's over the top and super embarrassing for the kid. Not cool at all. There are other ways to teach children lessons,鈥� responded another mom Michelle Odom.

It was clear from Crutchfield鈥檚 video that this mom was at her wit鈥檚 end and furious over finding out that her teen had skipped school and lied about it.

That鈥檚 what makes me wonder how much of this and other incidences of public shaming come from a place of possible revenge rather than parenting.

"It was kind of just spur of moment. It was ya know. I debated on whether I was going to do it or not and I was like I'm just going to do it," Crutchfield admitted when 聽Wyoming affiliate KTWO.

While making the video in a public school in front of the girl鈥檚 peers may have been 鈥渟pur of the moment,鈥� posting it on Facebook seems a bit more like a vengeful follow up.

Yet, the case can be made that this parent knew her daughter well enough to find a tactic that worked on her, since KTWO interviewed them both afterwards and the daughter was positive about the experience.

"It just goes to show that my mom cares. My friend Ruby, she's in WCC and she said she wished her mom would have done that for her," Ricki said.

I wonder which was the more lasting lesson Ricki learned: that ditching class and lying are bad for your future and your character, or how to exact revenge.

It made me think about how tech-savvy kids are and how easily the tables can be turned. If not careful, could parents find themselves in the candid camera video spotlight of vengeful teens?

In that case, I might expect a whole series of, 鈥淢y mom punished me for cutting class, but here鈥檚 what I her caught doing 鈥︹��

I too have experience Crutchfield鈥檚 frustration, most recently when I learned three weeks ago that my son, now 19 and in college, was a class cutter while in high school.

My son鈥檚 high school teachers never mentioned class cutting, but rather assignments not turned in as being the culprit.

He got his diploma. Because he does well on standardized tests he made it into college, but bad grades kept him from getting scholarships.

This was a rough parenting moment for me because I was disappointed and angry at both my son and in myself for failing to catch his truancy.

All I wanted to do was shout at him. But I didn鈥檛.

I considered the fact that he has since seen the error of his ways and become a straight-A student in college. He is suffering mightily to pay for his schooling, working every hour he鈥檚 not in a classroom.

After a few days of cooling-off I told him what I鈥檇 learned and how disappointed I was. He didn鈥檛 make any excuses. He sat surrounded by textbooks on Japanese, physics, and chemistry, looked up at me pleadingly and said, 鈥淚 can鈥檛 go back and change it now. I鈥檓 sorry I hurt you though. As you can see, I鈥檝e learned my lesson.鈥�

While I wish I鈥檇 been the one to teach him, it was life and experience that drove the punishment and lesson home.

Extreme child shaming may have worked in Crutchfield鈥檚 case, but before parents enter into the realm of teen-shaming, they might first want to consider what is won and lost in the process.

Earning respect from kids might mean parents having to stay above the fray in order to be a voice of reason when teens test their limits.