海角大神

7A 鈥� Wake and have breakfast with bleary-eyed Kid #1 who has not seen this hour, or any time close to it, since school ended two聽weeks earlier.

8A 鈥� Drop Kid #1 at Girl Scout sponsored nature park clean up.聽 Speed off in car leaving behind giant cloud of dust and pretend that I don鈥檛 hear other mom鈥檚 last minute request for 鈥渆xtra hands.鈥�

8:30A 鈥� Return home and get breakfast for Kid #2 and Kid #3, dog and cat.

9:20A 鈥� Drop DVD rentals at video store including dreadful one kids insisted upon starring a fangless, yet still sullen, Robert Pattinson.聽Regret wasting $5.00 yet delight in 鈥淚 told you so鈥� afterglow.

9:30A 鈥� Pack Kid #2 and Kid #3 in car again and pick up remarkably unsoiled Kid #1. Return home and make mid-morning snack for Kids #1, #2 and #3.

10:30A 鈥� Go to grocery store for more supplies.

12:00N 鈥� Make lunch for Kids #1, #2 and #3.

1:00P 鈥� Take Kid #1 to fashion design sketching class.聽 Fantasize about her upcoming career as famous fashion designer, including guest judge appearance on聽Project Runway.聽 Acknowledge that Kid #1 will likely live at home for a very long time.

1:30P 鈥� Take Kid #3 to swim-date at friend鈥檚 house.聽 During drive get instructed by Kid #3 that I shouldn鈥檛 get out of the car when we get there, for fear I will engage in a long conversation with her friend鈥檚 mom, thus ruining the whole experience.

2:00P 鈥� Return home and learn that Kid #2 hijacked my cell phone to text an invitation to friend for swim-date at our house.

2:30P 鈥� Welcome Kid #2A and immediately prepare snacks for Kid #2 and Kid #2A.

3:00P 鈥� Abandon plans to do laundry or anything really because must now supervise swim-date.

4:00P 鈥� Pick up Kid #1 from sketch class.聽 Make futile attempts to glean information about content of said class.

5:30P 鈥� Feed dinner to Kid #2 and Kid #2A.聽聽Grab TV remote and head for the couch.聽 Realize must not get too comfortable as promised聽to take Kid #2 and #2A to #2A鈥檚 recently separated father鈥檚 new apartment to 鈥渃heck it out鈥� and watch a movie.

6:00P 鈥� Take Kid #1 to coed birthday party for now 14-year-old friend.聽 (Read laughably tiny font at bottom of invitation indicating that there will be parental supervision.)

6:15P 鈥� Take Kid #2 and #2A to the dad鈥檚 pad.聽 Take note of ne鈥檙-do-well teens hanging out on balconies of neighboring apartments.聽 Silently wish that 11-year-old Kid #2 and her friend, Kid 2A did not already look like leggy teens.

6:30P 鈥� Drop Kid #3鈥檚 overnight bag at her friend鈥檚 house in order to accommodate impromptu sleepover invitation. 聽Hope she didn't notice absence of Fluffy Bunny which I foolishly forgot to stuff in her bag. 聽聽

7:00P 鈥� Return to find husband home from work.聽 Detect goofy grin on husband鈥檚 face.聽 Listen as husband points out that the kids are all gone, heh, heh, and you know what that could mean.聽 Offer up, 鈥淯mm, we have control of the remote?鈥�

8:00P 鈥� Phone rings.聽 Kid #3 wants to cancel sleepover date.聽 Pick up Kid #3 and reassure her on drive home that her friend鈥檚 house does not have ghosts.聽 The white blur in the hallway likely just the pasty daddy legs of her friend鈥檚 father. 聽Plead ignorance when she mentions missing Fluffy Bunny.

9:30P 鈥� Pick up Kid #2 from the bachelor pad apartment.聽 Inquire as to the rating of already watched movie.聽 Convince self that she meant to say she saw 鈥淭he Squeakquel鈥澛�and not 鈥淭he Saw鈥澛�sequel.

10:00P 鈥� Pick up Kid #1 from the birthday party.聽 Conduct inconspicuous sniffing in entryway to smell for booze and cigarettes.聽 Thankfully detect none.聽 Note that birthday girl鈥檚 parents look a good 10 years older than at party鈥檚 start, 4 hours earlier.

10:30P 鈥� Return home and cajole kids into their beds.聽聽Reach once again for TV remote, but decide it is too late to actually enjoy sitting down.聽 Opt for butterscotch brownie and calcium-rich milk instead.聽

11:00P 鈥� Go online and research sleep-away camp availability for remainder of summer.聽 Send email inquiring if there is room for just one more.聽 Also ask if they take adults.

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