海角大神

From Harper Lee's novel "To Kill a Mockingbird" -

鈥楧on鈥檛 worry Scout, it ain鈥檛 time to worry yet,鈥� said Jem. He pointed. 鈥楲ooka yonder.鈥�

In a group of neighbors, Atticus was standing with his hands in his overcoat pockets. He might have been watching a football game. [He was actually watching the house next door burn to the ground.]

鈥楽ee there, he鈥檚 not worried yet,鈥� said Jem.

Last week, one of my mama friends called to tell me a story. Her daughter had come home from school and while she was eating a snack she said, 鈥淢om, I鈥檓 sorry but I鈥檓 not gifted. They sent home letters today to the gifted kids. I鈥檓 not a gifted kid.鈥�

Let鈥檚 talk about that. Sometimes I know something to be true, down deep in my bones, but when I try to turn it into words, it changes. Gets all jacked up. Which is why I predict we鈥檇 be better off if people talked less and just听quietly knew听more.听

Here I go. I鈥檇 like to talk to you about your brilliant children.

Listen.

Every child has gifts and talents.听Every single one. Everything I鈥檝e ever written about has been open for argument, except for this one.听I know听this one is true. Every single child has gifts and talents in a particular area. Every single one also has particular challenges.听

For some kids, the classroom setting is the place where their genius is hardest to see and their challenges are easiest to see. And since they spend so much time in the classroom, that鈥檚 a tough break for these little guys. But I know that if we are patient and calm,听and we wear our and we keep believing, we will eventually see the specific magic of each child.

Like my student who was diagnosed as听severely dyslexic and also could鈥檝e won "Last Comic Standing" at age 7.听

鈥淗ey, Miss Doyle. Were you really busy last night or something?鈥澨�

鈥淵es, actually, I was," I said.听"Why do you ask, Cody?鈥澨�

鈥淏ecause your hair鈥檚 actually the same color it was yesterday!鈥澨�The boy was a genius.

Like my precious one who couldn鈥檛 walk or speak because he was diagnosed with听cerebral palsy, but whose smile while completing his grueling physical therapy inspired the rest of my class to call him the 鈥渂ravest.鈥澨�Genius, that kid.

Like my little man diagnosed with听autism, who couldn鈥檛 have hurt another living being if somebody paid him to. He was the most gentle soul I鈥檝e ever known. And he loved animals like they were a gift made just for him by God. Which, of course, they were. But nobody in our class knew that but him.听Undeniable genius.

Like my third grader, who read like a kindergartner and couldn鈥檛 add yet. But one day I stood behind her at recess, where she played all alone, and heard her singing to herself. And that was the day I discovered her gift. It was also the day that听she听discovered her gift. Since I FREAKED OUT. And marched her over to the rest of the teachers to make her sing for them. And announced to the class that we had a ROCK STAR in our midst. And she quietly beamed. And she sang all the time after that.听All the time.听Actually, it was a little much. But we let it slide because听you don鈥檛 mess with artistic genius.

Or the little man in one of my son听Chase鈥檚 classes who was always getting in trouble. Everyday,听getting in trouble. Chase came home one day and said, 鈥淚 think he鈥檚 not listening because he鈥檚 always making pictures in his head. He鈥檚 the best draw-er I鈥檝e ever seen. He鈥檚 going to be famous, I bet.鈥澨鼵hase was right. I鈥檝e seen this kid鈥檚 work.听Genius.

Or my little one who was gifted in learning the classroom way, and was miles ahead of the other kids in every single subject,听but had challenges being kind and humble about her particular strengths. So had a lot of trouble making friends.听Sometimes it鈥檚听tough to be a genius.

Every single child has gifts. And every child has challenges. It鈥檚 just that in the educational system, some gifts and challenges are harder to see. And lots of teachers are working on this. Lots of schools are trying to find ways to make all children鈥檚 gifts visible and celebrated. And as parents, we can help. We can help our kids who struggle in school believe that they鈥檙e okay. It鈥檚 just that there鈥檚 only one way to help them. And it鈥檚 hard.

We have to听actually believe听that our kids are OK.听

I know. Tough. But we听can听do it. We can start believing by erasing the idea that education is a race. It鈥檚 not. Actually, education is like听Christmas.听We鈥檙e all just opening our gifts, one at a time. And it is a fact that each and every child has a bright shiny present with his or her name on it, waiting there underneath the tree. God wrapped it up, and He鈥檒l let us know when it鈥檚 time to unwrap it. In the meantime, we must believe that our children are OK. Every last one of them. The perfect ones and the naughty ones and the chunky ones and the shy ones and the loud ones and the听so far听behind听ones and the ones diagnosed听with autism.

Because here鈥檚 what I believe. I think a child can survive a teacher or other children accidentally suggesting that he鈥檚 not OK.听As long as when he comes home, he looks at his mama and knows by her face that he听really is.听Because that鈥檚 all they鈥檙e asking, isn鈥檛 it?

鈥淢ama, am I OK?鈥澨�

In the end, children will call the rest of the world liars and believe us.听

So when they ask us with their eyes and hearts if they鈥檙e OK, let鈥檚 tell them:

"Yes, baby. You are OK. You are more than OK. You are my dream come true. You are everything I鈥檝e ever wanted, and I wouldn鈥檛 trade听one听you for a听million听anybody elses. This part of life, this school part, might be hard for you. But that鈥檚 OK, because it鈥檚 just one part of life. And because we are going to get through it together. We are a team. And I am so grateful to be on your team."

And then, before we dive into 鈥渉elping,鈥澨齦et鈥檚 just eat some cookies together and talk about other things. There are so many other things to talk about, really.

And then our kids will see that we are like Atticus Finch 鈥撎�Hands in our pockets. Calm. Believing. And they will look at us and even with a fire raging in front of them they鈥檒l say, 鈥淗uh. Guess it鈥檚 not time to worry yet.鈥�

And then we鈥檒l watch carefully. We鈥檒l just听watch and wait and believe听until God nods and says, 鈥淚t鈥檚 time. Tear open that gift, Mama.鈥�听

A version of this essay appears in .

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