On 'National Name Yourself Day,' what's in a name?
April 9 is 鈥淣ational Name Yourself Day,鈥� when Frank Zappa鈥檚 daughter can opt-out of being Diva Thin Muffin, and boys with more traditional names can call themselves Batman Robot Gerbil, or whatever they want for 24 hours.
It鈥檚 also the day parents have the opportunity to find out how their kids think they performed one of the biggest parenting tasks 鈥� that of .
This morning, I asked parents on Facebook what went into choosing their children鈥檚 names.
Ginger Graham-White of Norfolk, Va., answered in a chat that the main influence was a lifetime of being called 鈥淕ingersnap.鈥�
鈥淲hat rhymed with it or 'went' with it,鈥� she says, was her first concern when naming her daughter. 鈥淚 was Ginger snap Graham cracker for many, many years. Reality is Hayley [her daughter] will NEVER have her name spelled right.鈥�
Theresa Parker, also of Norfolk, had the exact same naming guideline as Ms.聽Graham-White: 鈥淲hat does it rhyme with鈥� for potential taunting purposes.
Ms. Parker鈥檚 maiden name is Carey, so she was 鈥淭erry Carey.鈥�
鈥淲hen choosing names for my kids, I wanted to be sure they didn't rhyme, weren't cutesy alliterative (Peter Parker), etc.鈥� she explains in a Facebook comment. 鈥淚 also wanted them to have names that weren't too diminutive or wacky and would serve them well in adulthood and in any life or professional circumstance. It was my first lasting gift to them, I suppose, so I took it seriously.鈥�
Rest assured, even if names appear frivolous to some, naming a child is very serious business.
Some I鈥檝e found actually have open discussions running on 鈥渢he most hated baby names.鈥�
I still marvel at the fact that my husband never worried when naming our kids or over their middle names (or lack thereof).
Our boys are Zoltan (no middle name), Ian Tucker, Avery Danger, and Quinten Coltrane Suhay.
Because my husband felt stripped of individuality by being named after his father, he vowed his sons would have the power of unique names.
Perhaps my greatest worry was that they would need the power of Kung Fu to survive elementary school.
Zoltan was named for Zolt谩n Kod谩ly, a Hungarian composer, linguist, and philosopher.
Our Zoltan has no middle name because when my mother-in-law learned what we named her first grandchild, she flatly replied, 鈥淚 will never call him by that name! I鈥檒l call him by his middle name.鈥�
Zoltan, 20, tells me he loves his name.
鈥淏ecause nobody else is me,鈥� he explains. 鈥淎 name says who you are, makes you an individual, but you鈥檙e not very individual if you share the same name as a billion other people.鈥�
Ian, 18, was named for our friend, scientist, and world traveler Ian Jones.
His middle name 鈥淭ucker鈥� comes from a small island which appears off the coast of Long Beach Island in New Jersey. The island was in view when he was born.
鈥淚鈥檓 good with Ian,鈥� he says.聽"Nothing else defines me."
Avery, 15, was named because I was either delusional, or experiencing a spiritual visitation after delivery.
I heard a man鈥檚 voice tell me, 鈥淗is name is Avery.鈥� Everyone in the delivery room swears no such words were ever uttered.
Danger is his middle name because, as boy number three, we felt he needed a little extra oomph.
While Avery loves his middle name, I have gotten a call from every teacher he has ever had on the first day of school saying something along the lines of, 鈥淵our son claims Danger is his middle name!鈥�
鈥淎nd so it is,鈥� I reply each and every year to a stunned educator.
We chose Quinten after the song 鈥淢ighty Quinn鈥� by Manfred Mann. Coltrane was a compromise between my love of the sound of the nearby Norfolk Southern Railway coal yard and my husband鈥檚 liking of musician John Coltrane.
I鈥檓 surprised Zoltan, Ian, and Avery wouldn鈥檛 opt to change their names, even for a day, because I come from a line of re-namers.
Naming a child was considered a matter of life and death to my ancestors in Poland, who actually renamed my great-grandfather on my dad鈥檚 side after he nearly died in infancy.
When Moshe Jacob Alter 鈥渃heated death,鈥� his parents harkened to an ancient Eastern European tradition of changing his name, 鈥淪o that Death could not find him,鈥� according to his biography.
Therefore, as an adult聽in New York, my great-grandfather was Morris Rosenfeld, the Yiddish poet of the Jewish ghetto.
My mother changed her name from 鈥淕ladys鈥� to 鈥淕len鈥� and made up the last name 鈥淜risti鈥� instead of her maiden name 鈥淜apinos鈥� when she moved from Passaic, N.J., to New York City to become a fashion designer.
鈥淚 suffered an entire childhood being called 鈥楬appy Bottom鈥� because kids said Gladys sounded like Glad-something-else,鈥� my mom tells me. 鈥淣obody should name their child something that can lead to teasing.鈥�
This from the woman who nearly named me Rima after the comic book series.
I was saved from decades of taunting by the fact that the new edition of the comic came out days before my birth in 1965 and Rima died in a burning tree as she battled poachers.
Rima comes back in the next issue, but the die was cast and I was named Lisa, a variant of my cousin鈥檚 name, Alisa.
The only child I have who has never asked about his name is Quin.
鈥淲ell, I鈥檓 thinking something like Mage Archer,鈥� said Quin when told that today is National聽Name Yourself Day. 鈥淚鈥檒l be that until tomorrow. OK?鈥�
When it comes to the name game, the power or problem may ultimately lie in how the child, not the world, views the name.
