海角大神

If all the articles and opinions about babysitting were compiled into one book, it would weigh about two tons and take at least ten years to read.听

Most people in the US probably have an anecdote about the best, or worst, babysitter they ever had.听I would never claim to be an authority on the subject.听

But, my daughter put in a lot of hours supervising other people鈥檚 children during high school, and it was a learning experience for our whole family. As parents of the sitter, my wife and I discovered a few things that might be useful to other parents who find themselves in the same position.

This isn鈥檛 a comprehensive list; just a few very basic suggestions that should be carefully considered before your own child begins听the great adventure of babysitting.

First of all, it鈥檚 important to take the job seriously.听This may seem obvious, but obvious points sometimes get overlooked.听

When your child is babysitting, he or she is assuming full responsibility for the safety and security of someone else鈥檚 kids. If a serious problem pops up, the babysitter is the first responder. But the chain of command doesn鈥檛 end there. In a sudden emergency, the babysitter鈥檚 immediate reaction may be to call home. Any prospective sitter, and the sitter鈥檚 parents, must be absolutely clear about this possibility right from the start.听If you鈥檙e going in, you have to go all-in.听

Equally important is to make sure everyone involved in the activity agrees on the details ahead of time.听I鈥檓 a big fan of clarity. The sitter shouldn鈥檛 hesitate to ask a lot of questions. If your child has a shy personality this may be tough, but it鈥檚 important for them to nail down the answers ahead of time in order to avoid misunderstandings later.

Is the sitter supposed to feed the kids, or give anybody a bath, or help with homework? Are there pets in the mix, and, if so, do they require any special treatment? I don鈥檛 think these are trivial issues. The goal is simple: Make a plan, and then stick to it.听Mature adults who are looking for a reliable, responsible babysitter shouldn鈥檛 have a problem with this policy.听

The first clients may be neighbors, and in that case it鈥檚 easy to slip into a relaxed attitude because you think, 鈥淗ey, everybody knows each other and we can just work things out along the way. Everything鈥檚 going to be fine.鈥� Sometimes this is true, but not always.听

Suppose, for example, that the babysitter is told to 鈥渢ry to have everybody in bed at 10 p.m.鈥澨� The word 鈥渢ry鈥� is where this scenario can go off the rails. Now suppose 10 o鈥檆lock rolls around and the kids say, 鈥淲e want to make brownies. Please! We鈥檙e not tired.听Let鈥檚 make brownies first and we promise to go to bed!鈥� Then at 11, when the parents come home and discover nobody is asleep and the kitchen is trashed, they may turn to the sitter and ask, 鈥淲hy weren鈥檛 they in bed at 10 like we agreed? And how did making brownies get the green light?鈥� Let the unpleasantness begin.

Often, this situation leads to a debate about who deserves the blame for things not going right. It鈥檚 a really good idea to avoid having the 鈥渨hose fault is it?鈥� argument.听That鈥檚 why I strongly recommend avoiding vague directions.听Clients should be encouraged to give their kids very clear instructions about what鈥檚 OK and not OK once the babysitter arrives and takes charge. 听

Sometimes, the preliminary research for a babysitting job may reveal that a particular household just isn鈥檛 compatible with your own family's behavior standards. Feel free to give them a pass and move on. In modern America, it鈥檚 not unusual to encounter families who favor codes of conduct that combine high risk with low supervision.听

Imagine visiting a home with a backyard swimming pool, and as the parents explain the recreational guidelines to the babysitter, one of them says, 鈥淭he boys like to jump into the pool from the garage roof.听Don鈥檛 worry, they鈥檝e been doing it for years.鈥� This may sound like an extreme example, but you get my drift.听The old saying is correct: Don鈥檛 borrow trouble.

Finally, and in my opinion most important, always keep in mind that the parents of the babysitter have full authority over the who, what, when, and where aspects of each job.听Sometimes, asserting that authority can be awkward. I鈥檝e done it.听

Picture this scenario, which actually happened:听Parent A, a regular client, sets up a job to babysit A鈥檚 two kids at their house. But then A calls the babysitter and says, 鈥淐an you handle three kids? The third one is someone we know and he鈥檚 great. And it won鈥檛 be here anymore.听Come to my house and I鈥檒l drive you and my kids to the other child鈥檚 house. They鈥檙e friends of ours, really nice people.听Is that OK?鈥�

Not with me it wasn鈥檛.听I didn鈥檛 know the third family, nor did I like having the venue changed at the last minute. But the main point I emphasized when I called Parent A was this: these changes in the plan may seem minor to you, but you need to run them past the babysitter鈥檚 parents before you ask the babysitter. Don鈥檛 put her on the spot.听The new arrangement may be fine with her, but first it has to be fine with me.听

I know this makes me sound like Crabby Appleton (oops 鈥� I just dated myself) but it goes back to what I said earlier. If your own child decides to try babysitting, you have to go all-in. There are always going to be surprises that pop up.听That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 important to establish control over the basics.听The job should get easier as time goes on.听Expertise comes from firsthand experience.听Try to build a solid base of friendly clients. Have fun doing it. And always remember that brownies need to cool down before slicing, and that cutting them into really small squares makes the enjoyment last longer.