海角大神

A word-frequency analysis of more than 1.5 million books published in America and Britain during the last two centuries claims to show how our cultural values have changed.

The analysis, done by UCLA psychology professor Patricia Greenfield, found a significant increase in the use of what she considers materialistic and individualistic words like 鈥渃hoose鈥� and 鈥済et鈥� and a decrease in community-orientated words like 鈥済ive鈥� and 鈥渙blige,鈥� among others, according to a release from UCLA.

But does this type of analysis prove we are less giving or obliging now than before? Are our families full of me-centric children or parents?

Maybe not. Perhaps the increases and decreases in word usage can be attributed to our own habit of changing a word鈥檚 meaning over time.

For example, take the word 鈥渇riend鈥� 鈥� once a noun, 鈥渇riend鈥� has been famously turned into a verb by Facebook users.

Take it from child psychologist Randy Kulman: 鈥淚n the case of this study, I really think it鈥檚 more a case of words being used indiscriminately and incorrectly, like calling someone a friend on Facebook when you may not know them at all, than reflecting how people actually feel.鈥�

If the use of the word 鈥渇riend鈥� picks up around Facebook鈥檚 founding, then that implies two things: One, that culture affects the words used in literature; and two, that we may be using words in more than one way 鈥� that 鈥済et鈥� doesn鈥檛 have to mean 鈥渃ome to have or hold.鈥�

Using Ngram, the Google tool Professor Greenfield used to conduct her study, I charted the frequency of 鈥渇riend鈥� in American books published over the past two centuries.

The chart shows 鈥渇riend鈥� peaked in 1836 and then began a decline that would last until 1980. It made a slow resurgence over the next two decades until, after Facebook鈥檚 founding in 2004, the frequency of 鈥渇riend鈥� spiked.

Between 2004 and 2008, the use of 鈥渇riend鈥� increased by 14 percent 鈥� easily more than half the increase seen since the word started its ascent.

But, to me, 鈥渇riend鈥� 鈥� as used in that tender moment when one child faces another and says, 鈥淵ou wanna be friends?鈥� 鈥� isn鈥檛 the 鈥渇riend鈥� that鈥檚 increasing.聽

Unfortunately, I have noticed it becoming more common among kids and adults to say, 鈥淔riend me.鈥� It鈥檚 become more a social networking command than a heartfelt request. It鈥檚 as if they鈥檙e becoming desensitized from overuse of the word.

In some cases I think this UCLA study needs a companion study of general word usage and decline to help us out in drawing conclusions.

For example, I think of the word 鈥渙bliged鈥� and 鈥渇olks鈥� in the same way 鈥� colloquialisms, verbal and written antiques.

I don鈥檛 know many people who use the word 鈥渙bliged,鈥� outside of Southern characters on TV like Vampire Bill in True Blood (鈥淚鈥檇 be much obliged if you鈥檇 help me out by letting me devour all the faeries in town鈥�).

Most people I know say, 鈥淚鈥檇 appreciate it.鈥�

The word obliged means to be morally bound vs. the freer version which is to see the value of the assist. If we do know the difference and still choose appreciation over obligation maybe it is technology and education, as Greenfield says, forcing us to be more precise and parse the words.

As parents we need to keep current with the words social media platforms are using and how those news uses may subtly alter our kids鈥� perceptions and values over time.