Our "Downton Abbey" family ritual: Thanks for the memories, PBS
Conversation over the leftover roast dinner the other night suddenly got very spicy when I mentioned聽 we鈥檙e going to have our Sunday evenings cut out for us now because 鈥�Downton is back.鈥�
鈥淥h YEAH-uh!鈥� said my 15-year-old daughter in a near milk-spew, as excited as if it were a new KPatz Twilight movie. She鈥檚 no PBS nerd, but she鈥檚 as addicted to the Edwardian soap as her mom and dad.
Why do we love it?
As much as I鈥檝e enforced the 鈥渘o TV鈥� rule throughout Ellen鈥檚 childhood, I have to admit: I love the feeling of the Sunday-night ritual of getting Mom, Dad, Kid and Dog together on the couch, staring into the flat screen and sharing the tangle of angsts, glories, irritations, and loves of Downton for 60 minutes 鈥� as well as our own irritations when that 60 minutes is up. It鈥檚 like having our own cozy little tea time 鈥� only we鈥檙e dressed in pajamas and Queenie tends to bark when we get too unruly about the latest injustice to passive-aggressive Bates.
I revel in every moment from that rear-view Lab shot in the opening credits to the brutal cliffhanger closings and all the in-between of the fine cutlery of Maggie Smith鈥檚 one-liners, the copper pots and pans that make even English fare look good, and the desire to just reach out and touch someone (an encouraging cheek squeeze in the case of goofy servant Daisy, a firm pinch for middle-Crawley-daughter Edith, and a bear hug for butler Mr. Carson). And, I鈥檓 able to suspend disbelief (I鈥檓 talking to you New York Times critic Alessandra Stanley!) of the show being unrealistic treacle because ... I just want to. I even succumbed to Boston public television鈥檚 WGBH membership drive just to get that 鈥淔ree Bates鈥� T-shirt they were offering.
My husband considers the show just聽 鈥渁 cracking-good old-fashioned soap opera of a story鈥� that substitutes rich characters for the modern TV failsafe of video game action or cheap humor.聽 And, like me, he likes his TV ritual and he likes it on Sunday nights 鈥� and rarely any other time 鈥撀� as a cozy family thing going back to 鈥淏onanza鈥� and 鈥淒isney鈥檚 Wonderful World of Color鈥� and 鈥淢atlock鈥� and 鈥淢urder She Wrote.鈥�
We think this ritual is sinking in to another generation with Ellen because of Downton. And even with the slightly adult themes some parents have objected to in web chatter 鈥� such as the gay kiss in the first season between scheming Thomas the footman and a visiting duke 鈥� we both feel a lot happier sitting down with our daughter to watch an hour of parlor lit than 鈥淕lee鈥� or 鈥淕ossip Girl.鈥�
Ellen鈥檚 favorite character is Sybil 鈥渢he rebellious sister who ran away for love,鈥� she says. 鈥淏ecause she鈥檚 independent and unselfish.鈥澛� But as romantic as her feelings are about that character, Ellen鈥檚 pretty unsentimental about the ritual her dad and I love. She says she鈥檇 be into Downton whether we watched it together or not. I鈥檓 just not sure, though, that she鈥檇 ever have been exposed to it without us 鈥� PBS isn鈥檛 her first stop when given free rein with the remote, and she claims there鈥檚 no discussion of the show among friends because she thinks no one her age has ever heard of it.聽
I called Martha Matlaw, a former middle school English teacher of Ellen鈥檚 whose love of good stories really inspires kids, to find out if her students are chattering about the third season opener this weekend, and she confirmed Ellen鈥檚 unscientific sense of it: The kids don鈥檛 seem to be talking about it. But, she discovered one student who watches with her family. So Ellen鈥檚 got company in 7th grader Gia Bond, whose favorite Downton denizen is also Sybil because 鈥渟he鈥檚 so different from the other characters ... and [because] she wants to be a doctor.鈥�
Gia鈥檚 mom, Erica, says the family watched the first season in 鈥�3-episode marathons鈥� on Netflix because of all the buzz about it on Facebook, just like we did. And now they鈥檙e all waiting excitedly, just like us, for the 3rd season. Well, all except Gia鈥檚 little 8-year-old brother who doesn鈥檛 like it and goes to bed before they watch the show.
The Bonds sit together on the couch, just like us, and, says Gia, 鈥渋f something upsets us we usually yell at the TV like it鈥檚 a baseball game.鈥�
Even though Ellen and Gia think they鈥檙e outliers, I think there are a whole lot of families like us who鈥檒l be on the couch Sunday, together, rooting for the good guys 鈥� 鈥淔ree Bates!鈥� 鈥� jeering at the bad guys,聽 admiring the clothes and creating family memories around the electronic hearth for another generation. It鈥檚 all good.
