海角大神

I鈥檝e watched first days of kindergarten as a mother and as a school psychologist for almost 40 years. On these days I've seen events that were heart-rending, humorous, embarrassing, and inspiring.

Some schools allow parents to stay for a while. Others forbid them to even enter the room. That usually moves the drama to the hall. I鈥檝e watched teachers skillfully gather the group to a circle for a story and others deal helplessly with three or four crying 5-year-olds. Sometimes I have had to usher the crying 35-year-olds out of the room and to my office.聽

So many kids these days have had lots of preschool so the separation is less traumatic, but not for mom and dad, camcorder in hand and tears in their eyes.

For this event I鈥檝e never been able to maintain that professional psychological distance we鈥檙e supposed to have. I鈥檝e often shed a few tears even before the parents and the kids, so I took my own babes into this monumental transition wondering if I would fall apart when it was our turn.聽

I did 鈥� just a little. Some were tears of joy when a friend took my shy daughter under her wing (they are still friends 20 years later). With my son the tears quickly dried with shock when he introduced himself as a 鈥渏unkyard dog." He was the happiest kindergartener you鈥檝e ever seen. He saved all his tears for the last day of kindergarten when he clung to his beautiful young teacher and sobbed at the prospect of leaving her.

I have often thought that I should take my own camcorder and film what takes place 10 minutes after the parents leave, so they could see how quickly kids adjust. Instead I have made many phone calls reporting how well their child recovered to ease the heart of the parent suffering their own separation.聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽

At one school, the PTA has a coffee-and-rolls event in the auditorium with lots of tables for signups and information. It is the grown-up version of gathering them for a story and usually eases the parental transition.聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽

I really treasure this little part of my work. To be present at such a significant moment for so many families is a gift. 聽When called upon I try to help parents send their child into the big world with the message, 鈥淚 will miss you too. I know this is a little scary, but I know you can do it. I believe in you, and I can鈥檛 wait to hear all about your day.鈥澛�

Life is short: childhood is shorter. I believe we should honor this precious time and its painful and joyful steps.

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