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Stranger danger and donuts: one school's (over) reaction

Stranger danger is something every parent thinks about--who is my child talking to when I'm not around. But sometimes, an offer of a free donut is simply that, as one school found out, albeit not before scaring its parents.

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AP Photo/New York Police Department via Stanley K. Patz, File
Missing children may be statistically rare, but there can be an over-reaction to stranger danger. A flyer distributed by the New York Police Department of Etan Patz who vanished at age 6 in 1979 in New York City.

Hi Readers! This is the kind of story that makes me bite off little pieces of my own arm in frustration (almost. Ok, let鈥檚 just say it makes me nuts.)

An elementary school in Toledo, Ohio sent home a note that said a stranger had been speaking to some of the students at a popular bakery on their way to school. 聽According to this story on WTOL:

The letter said, 鈥淭he situation is now in the hands of the police. Fortunately for us today, all of our children are safe.鈥�

The letter also tells parents to remind their kids to report suspicious people. Parents were shocked.

鈥淭hat makes me nervous. I want my kids to come to school and be safe,鈥� said Gail Hodson, a Harvard Elementary parent.

Excuse me, ma鈥檃m, are you shocked by the idea that your kid might someday encounter an adult male you did not personally vet first? Maybe it鈥檚 time to move to another planet.

But wait 鈥� the story gets a little weirder. Turns out that the man is a regular at the bakery and it was when he was there that he offered some kids some donuts.

Pretty terrifying!

School administrators left those facts out, 聽and defended themselves later by saying that the alarm was, if nothing else, a 鈥渢eachable moment, and they sent the letter home to be proactive, before misinformation spread.鈥�

Um鈥oesn鈥檛 that sound like exactly what they made happen? This letter WAS the misinformation, and the school spread it! As far as teachable moments go, this one taught kids to be suspicious, scared and unfriendly no matter how unwarranted. Worst-first thinking in action!

Then again, 聽just 尘补测产别听it taught them that their school has gone absolutely ape with fear and can鈥檛 tell the difference between a sweetroll 聽and Sweeney Todd. If so, that letter has done some good. 鈥� L

Addendum: While we鈥檙e on the subject of stranger danger, here鈥檚 another little tidbit: A man in a van asking a little girl if she鈥檇 seen his puppy turns out to have been (sit down) looking for his puppy. Here鈥檚 the . Weird, right?

海角大神 has assembled a diverse group of the best family and parenting bloggers out there. Our contributing and guest bloggers are not employed or directed by the Monitor, and the views expressed are the bloggers' own, as is responsibility for the content of their blogs. Lenore Skenazy blogs at

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