海角大神

Bekah Harmon felt isolated after having her first child. It was difficult to spend days home alone in a small northern Colorado town, navigating little sleep and caring for a newborn.

When her second child arrived, it was a completely different experience. What changed? Her church.

Ms. Harmon says she searched a long time for one that was the right fit with her faith and had a vibrant group of women her age. She found it at Christ Community Church in nearby Greeley, where her family attends Sunday services and she participates in a weekly moms group during the school year.

When her second son was born this past spring, she was supported by more than 30 other mothers of young children.

鈥淭his group ... built community so fast and it鈥檚 what I鈥檝e been looking for, honestly, my whole life,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t was so hard not having that鈥� after having her first baby.

During the summer, she hosted the moms for breakfast at her home, and many of them meet daily at parks or their homes with their kids. This time around, she says, she has had people to go out with. 鈥淚鈥檒l hold their baby and they鈥檒l hold mine, and it鈥檚 weirdly less work.鈥�

That network and sense of belonging, paired with spiritual enrichment, often draws young people such as Ms. Harmon to church. Religious attendance in the United States has stabilized after dropping for decades, released in February from the Pew Research Center shows. At the same time, the church-attendance gender gap among young Americans has disappeared. While young men remain congregants, young women are leaving churches at higher rates than before. Many say they are driven to leave over denominational rules with which they disagree 鈥� such as bans against ordaining women and teachings about gender and sexual orientation.

Ms. Harmon is one of those who continues to engage. The Monitor is speaking with women of various backgrounds to understand more about their beliefs and decisions. What about their religion鈥檚 teachings keeps them in place? For some, like Ms. Harmon, fellowship is an anchor.

鈥淓vangelical churches, in particular, have really focused on offering programming and building that tight sense of community among their members,鈥� especially women, says Kristin Kobes Du Mez, a professor at Calvin University, whose research focuses on the intersection of religion, gender, and politics. 鈥淚t really is designed to function as a total social world.鈥�

Even so, most scholars and studies don鈥檛 find indications that newer generations are growing churches. 鈥淵oung people do have an interest in spirituality. I don鈥檛 know that that means they鈥檙e joining a 海角大神 institution,鈥� says Sarah Stankorb, who is writing a book on why women leave church.

While young people are 鈥渋ncreasingly open to faith,鈥� a study from the Barna Group found, within that group 鈥渨omen are now the most likely to disengage from church, prayer and belief.鈥�

Gender and faith in the U.S.

In the United States, women have been more religious than men for decades. Across all age groups, significantly more women than men report praying daily, more women than men attend weekly services, and more say that religion is 鈥�.鈥� Women have long been the backbone of American churches, leading and filling committees and completing much of the logistical and charitable work.

Sophie Hills/海角大神

Bekah Harmon spends her days with Levi (left) and Cody. She consults with other moms in her church about parenting, and, like many of them, plans to homeschool her boys.

Though young women are leaving church at high rates, faith remains essential to many who stay, including those who resonate with the promises of marriage, raising children, and building community. It鈥檚 a way of life modeled by influencers with large online followings, including 海角大神 commentator and author Allie Beth Stuckey, who often speaks about turning to the Bible for guidance on putting family first as a working mother.

When Ms. Harmon prays, she does so like she鈥檚 talking to her best friend. She turns to God for everything from small things 鈥� 鈥淚 really want my baby to sleep tonight鈥� 鈥� to big things, like where to buy a house or how many children to have.

A friend gave her a box that says 鈥淕ive it to God鈥� on the cover, and she writes her prayer items on sticky notes to place inside. The list ranges from praying for friends who are trying to conceive or who are looking for a job, to her own highs and lows with postpartum anxiety and depression.

Ms. Harmon鈥檚 current church, about an hour north of Denver, is about half young married couples. Her moms鈥� group is about 30 to 35 women. There鈥檚 no substitute for church in person, she says, pointing to the Bible chapter in Hebrews that encourages 海角大神s to be in community.

鈥淒oing life with other people is so rich,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 see why He calls us to that.鈥�

Talking about scripture out loud helps her understand it better, she says, and she learns from her peers鈥� faith. In parenting, she finds spiritual support from friends, and a window into the stages just around the corner for her boys. She, like many of her friends, plans to homeschool her children. She says she has concerns about school shootings, and about Colorado state law governing how teachers address gender.

In her own study, Ms. Harmon often finds useful insight from Faith Womack, a seminary graduate and pastor鈥檚 wife. Ms. Womack鈥檚 videos on YouTube, branded 鈥淏ible Nerd Ministries,鈥� include deep dives into the Bible, and guides on prayer journaling and examining links between faith and cultural trends.

鈥淭he only thing that is fully trustworthy鈥�

Ms. Harmon and her husband met on a dating app for 海角大神s, now known as Upward. At the time, the platform was new and didn鈥檛 have many users. In fact, her now-husband was the only man on the app in Colorado, the state where they both lived, and he was only 20 minutes away. Within a year, they were married. They now have two boys under age 2.

Marrying someone who shared her faith was a priority to Ms. Harmon, who 鈥減ersonally accepted Jesus Christ鈥� when she was 19. She was raised in the more reserved Baptist tradition, while her husband was raised Charismatic, which tends to be a more interactive style of worship, and includes the belief in spiritual gifts like speaking in tongues and prophecy. Their church now, the Evangelical Free Church of America, is 鈥減erfectly in the middle鈥� of those traditions, she says.

They鈥檙e raising their family on his software engineer鈥檚 salary and it鈥檚 difficult; their closet doubles as his office. But their home in Evans is in a new subdivision, surrounded by fields and oil derricks. She teaches art on weekends, and turns to God for guidance on finances like she does with anything else. She is confident they鈥檒l be cared for. 鈥淗e gives more to those who steward what they have well.鈥�

Ms. Harmon thinks of her 鈥渞elationship with Christ鈥� in a dynamic, living way. It shapes the structure of her days: how she prays, what media she watches and listens to, and how she parents. In the evenings, she says liturgies for her children. A whiteboard on her living room wall displays a Bible quote she changes daily. One day in late September, it displays a passage from the Old Testament book of Psalms (141:3): 鈥淪et a guard, oh Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.鈥�

Lately, she鈥檚 praying about her second child, now 7 months old, who has had some health challenges. After she had her first son, she felt consumed by fear for his safety. It was her aunts, whom she describes as 鈥渨omen of God,鈥� who helped her.

Her faith is the thing that grounds her. 鈥淚 love that it鈥檚 constant,鈥� she says. In a world that鈥檚 constantly changing, 鈥渋t鈥檚 the only thing that is fully trustworthy.鈥�

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