海角大神

Episode transcript

[Music]

Jennifer Ashley Ciballos: My mom, she works as a supervisor in a kind of like a child care slash preschool type of thing. My dad also worked for a charter school, as the cafeteria manager. But then he got laid off because of the pandemic.

Jessica Mendoza: When did that happen? 

Jennifer Ashley: Literally like one month after the lockdown. My mom and dad pulled me to the side and told me that my dad was going to lose his job and that we had to like, figure out how to get money. 

[Music]

Mendoza: Jennifer Ashley Ciballos is 21 years old. She鈥檚 a college student on a nursing track. The oldest of four. And she lives with her siblings, parents, and grandparents in a three-bedroom apartment in east Las Vegas.

Samantha Laine Perfas: In this series so far, we鈥檝e talked to women who鈥檝e either lost or left their jobs during the pandemic. Or 鈥� in the case of one teacher 鈥� thought about quitting.

Mendoza: But today we鈥檙e looking at a different issue: Instead of losing jobs, Jennifer Ashley and her younger sister, Jaelynn, had to start working 鈥� a lot 鈥� to help their family get by. 

Jennifer Ashley: It got real when my parents were saying that we couldn鈥檛 pay for our car. That鈥檚 how I knew, like the pandemic was really going to shift my priorities as a student and as a daughter because we could not even make ends meet. Like we were not even close to it anymore.

Laine Perfas: We鈥檝e been saying that even though the U.S. is in recovery mode, the pandemic is leaving plenty for us to work through as a society. That鈥檚 especially true when it comes to young people like Jennifer Ashley and Jaelynn.

Mendoza: For more than a year, both women have had to manage school, taking care of their younger siblings, and working almost full time. And when you鈥檙e balancing paying for bills now versus prioritizing your future 鈥�

Laine Perfas: 鈥� a future that, hopefully, includes a college degree and a professional job, so that you can give your family a better life? It鈥檚 a lot to carry. 

Mendoza: How do you do all that and still hang on to the person you鈥檙e trying to become?  

[Theme music]

Laine Perfas: I鈥檓 Samantha Laine Perfas. 

Mendoza: And I鈥檓 Jessica Mendoza. This is 鈥淪tronger.鈥�

Laine Perfas: What women lost to the pandemic, and how they鈥檙e winning it back. 

[Theme music]

Mendoza: Today (our final episode!): The Sisters.

[Music]

Laine Perfas: So we mentioned it before: The Ciballoses have a pretty big family. 

Jennifer Ashley: We鈥檙e siblings of four. So there 鈥� it goes me, who鈥檚 21, then Jaelynn who鈥檚 17, Janine who is 8, and then Miles who is 2. 

Mendoza: Their parents, Jeffrey and Maria, are from the Philippines. Jennifer Ashley was actually born there. 

Laine Perfas: Jeff and Maria worked throughout Jennifer Ashley鈥檚 childhood. But neither of them finished college. And it was often tough to keep the family afloat. 

Jennifer Ashley: Income and money issues are always a topic in our family, unfortunately. 

Mendoza: As the oldest, Jennifer Ashley saw firsthand how it affected the family dynamic. For instance, to afford going to UNLV 鈥�

Laine Perfas: 鈥� that鈥檚 the University of Nevada Las Vegas 鈥�

Mendoza: 鈥� she has to rely on a bunch of different scholarships and grants. Every semester, Jennifer Ashley gets back whatever doesn鈥檛 get used for tuition and fees. This is pretty common for students on financial aid. But for Jennifer Ashley 鈥�

Jennifer Ashley: I would have to give half of that to my parents just to make ends meet.

[Music]

Laine Perfas: There were other ways it was clear that they weren鈥檛 exactly rolling in dough. Like: Jennifer Ashley and her sister Jaelynn always had to split chores and other duties with their parents. 

Jennifer Ashley: When my mom would get home, she would go straight to cooking. My dad would also clean the entire house, he would do laundry. And then as for my grandparents, they mainly came to the States to help take care of Miles and Janine.

Mendoza: But as their grandparents got older and their health declined, a lot of the work wound up with Jaelynn, who was in high school and usually home earlier than Jennifer Ashley or their parents. 

Jaelynn Ciballos: I had to take the responsibility of kind of being the second mom. Maybe that鈥檚 why I like when I grow up, I low-key don鈥檛 want to have kids for a hot minute because I felt like I just ended up raising my little sister and my little brother. 

[Music]

Laine Perfas: But for all of that, the two sisters felt that pre-pandemic, their lives were pretty normal.

Jaelynn: I had a lot of time to do after school activities. I was in sports. I had so much time to study. I had a lot of free time where I could kind of relax and stuff. It sounds pretty boring, but yeah. 

Mendoza: And the two of them are really close, even though they鈥檙e four years apart.

Jennifer Ashley: I think it鈥檚 due to the fact that we鈥檝e shared a room since birth. 

Mendoza: That鈥檚 Jennifer Ashley again. (And just a heads up 鈥� she called us from her car in one of our Zoom conversations. So the tape might sound different at times.)

Jennifer Ashley: We鈥檝e never had our own rooms. And it鈥檚 like a bittersweet thing because we never get privacy. But because of that, we鈥檙e literally like stuck at the hip. 

Laine Perfas: At the same time, Jaelynn and Jennifer Ashley are also kind of opposites. If you have a sister 鈥� and I have two 鈥� it can be really funny how different you are from each other. And at least in my case, the younger sisters always seem to be way cooler. 

Mendoza: Jaelynn, how would you describe your sister鈥檚 style and vice versa? 

Jaelynn: I don鈥檛 know, she鈥檚 going to kill me. She has to dress professional, so it鈥檚 like her color palette is like browns and neutrals, you know. I don鈥檛 know! Like, I can鈥檛 say teacher vibes. Because it鈥檚 really not teacher vibes. 

Jennifer Ashley: It鈥檚 OK. It鈥檚 OK. You can say I dress like a teacher. [laughter]

Jaelynn: I don鈥檛 know how she would describe my style. 

Jennifer Ashley: I think Jaelynn鈥檚 style is very much, 鈥渉ip鈥� in what鈥檚 happening right now. Like that鈥檚 very much her style. It鈥檚 OK, Jaelynn. You can say 鈥� at one point she said I dress like an English teacher and that鈥檚 fine with me. That鈥檚 how I like to dress, is very business casual, clean cut and Jaelynn鈥檚 over here wearing crop tops, ripped jeans and things like that. She dyes her hair every like two weeks.

Mendoza: Yeah, I don鈥檛 know about you, Sam, but I felt very ancient and uncool when we met Jaelynn. She was rocking blonde hair with pink and blue highlights. Where for me, a little lipstick is like, 鈥淲atch out, she鈥檚 getting fancy!鈥�

Laine Perfas: Yeah, no, I definitely vibed more with Jennifer Ashley鈥檚 style. My clothes are, let鈥檚 just say 鈥渘eutral, earthy tones.鈥� And when I bought my first car in college, I was so excited to show my sister, and she literally said, 鈥淯m, that鈥檚 like, a teacher car.鈥� Womp womp. 

Mendoza: It鈥檚 like, What鈥檚 wrong with being like a teacher? I know some very cool teachers, personally. 

[Music]

Mendoza: Anyway, that was their life. Normal.

Laine Perfas: But after their dad, Jeff, lost his job, the sisters began to really feel the pressures of being in a family in survival mode. Pre-pandemic, Jennifer Ashley had been working at a nonprofit called Leaders In Training, or LIT. The group helps first-generation college students like her build leadership skills. Jennifer Ashley participated when she was in high school.

Mendoza: After Jeff got laid off, she began putting in more time at the office. 

Jennifer Ashley: I barely make $10 an hour, so I try to scavenge as many hours as I can. 

Mendoza: And it didn鈥檛 take long for Jaelynn to want to pitch in too, even though she was only 16 at the time. She found work as a barista at a coffee shop chain called Dutch Bros. 

Jaelynn: I applied to this coffee shop in late June. I got an interview in July and that鈥檚 when I started working. I don鈥檛 make a lot either. I only make nine an hour.

Laine Perfas: But together, what they made really helped cover the family expenses. 

Jennifer Ashley: When bills arise, usually my mom and dad will shoulder it, like they figure it out.

Mendoza: That鈥檚 Jennifer Ashley again. 

Jennifer Ashley: If we are short, they鈥檒l bring it to us and be like, 鈥淭wo hundred from Jaelynn, two hundred from me.鈥� I also shoulder the cable and Internet bill. And then on certain months, me, Jaelynn, and my mom, we split the phone bill. 

[Music]

Laine Perfas: At first, it doesn鈥檛 seem too overwhelming. After all, it鈥檚 true that a lot of young people in the U.S. help their families pay the bills 鈥� and this was the case way before the pandemic. 

Molly Scott: Young people are a vital part of their family economy in one way or another when there鈥檚 not enough at home. 

Mendoza: Molly Scott is a researcher at the Center for Income and Benefits at the Urban Institute in Washington, D.C. She鈥檚 done a bunch of work on young people鈥檚 economic contributions to their families. 

Scott: And that can mean that the young person actually holds a job, or it can mean that they鈥檙e taking on all of the other family responsibilities so that their parents can work two or three jobs to be able to pay the bills, right? 

Laine Perfas: That on its own is an issue. But for families in those situations, it makes existing inequalities worse. 

Elise Gould: You think about two different students in the economy, one who has to work a job maybe 30, 40 hours a week. They need that money. Compare that with somebody who can devote their entire being to being a full time student.  

Laine Perfas: That鈥檚 Elise Gould, an economist at the Economic Policy Institute, also in D.C. 

Gould: Those sacrifices have a cost on their ability to focus, their ability to be fully present in 鈥� in all of their activities.

[Music]

Mendoza: We got a real sense of what that was like for Jennifer Ashley and Jaelynn when we went to see them in late April. It was a lot. 

Laine Perfas: Their family鈥檚 apartment, for one thing, is a busy place. There always seemed to be grandparents or little siblings or pets everywhere. (Their dad keeps four birds in the house.)

Jennifer Ashley: And the birds. [bird squawks LOUDLY]

Laine Perfas: The birds! 

Mendoza: Can you introduce us to them? 

Laine Perfas: Yeah, which one is which?

Jennifer Ashley: Yeah, the one that looks like it鈥檚 kind of bald is Grover and then the one I always like barks and sounds really loud is Mango. 

Maria Ciballos: And there鈥檚 another two in there. 

Laine Perfas: They鈥檙e so pretty!

Maria: Romeo and Juliet.

Laine Perfas: It took some time to find a quiet enough place for us to record 鈥� their parents鈥� room, where the birds were only kind of audible.

Mendoza: When we were all more or less settled in, we asked each of them to tell us what a typical day was like for them during the pandemic. For Jennifer Ashley 鈥� 

[Music]

Jennifer Ashley: Classes really start at 8:30. So I鈥檒l wake up at 7:30 just to make sure that, you know, I鈥檓 awake and I鈥檒l have breakfast. 

Laine Perfas: She鈥檇 be in class until about 10:30 or so. And then she鈥檇 check in with her parents and Jaelynn about their schedules 鈥� 

Jennifer Ashley: So I can kind of coordinate if I can take my car that day. Most times I can鈥檛. 

Mendoza: The Ciballoses have only one working car, and it鈥檚 a daily struggle to figure out who gets to use it when. So a coworker who lives nearby will usually just give Jennifer Ashley a ride to work. 

Jennifer Ashley: She鈥檒l end up texting me like, 鈥淗ey, do you want to go to the office at 11? I鈥檒l pick you up.鈥� 

[Music]

Laine Perfas: Jennifer Ashley鈥檚 official title at LIT is program manager. She both handles administrative stuff and works with students in the program.

Jennifer Ashley: So I鈥檒l be typing emails, I鈥檒l be texting parents and students if they鈥檙e doing OK in school, if they need any resources. We鈥檒l do a lot of printing and things like that. I鈥檓 also in charge of events.

Jennifer Ashley (ambient): Hello? OK, so you want those two to be on one-pagers and it鈥檚 front to back. Correct?

[Ambient sound printer]

Mendoza: And that would be her whole afternoon. She鈥檇 leave work around 5 or 6, be home by 6:30 鈥� 

Jennifer Ashley: And that鈥檚 basically when I do my homework.  So I鈥檒l tell my parents, 鈥淒on鈥檛 knock, don鈥檛 let Miles yell, you know, make sure the birds are quiet. And during that time I鈥檓 really zoned in. So by the time I look up and finish my work, it鈥檚 already, I think, 11.

Laine Perfas: That鈥檚 around the time that Jaelynn gets off from work. 

Mendoza: Which, even though she鈥檚 younger and in high school, Jaelynn鈥檚 days are at least as hectic as her sister鈥檚. 

[Music]

Jaelynn: So usually I wake up at six just because I feel like if I don鈥檛 wake up early, I will not wake up.

Laine Perfas: She grabs some breakfast, gets ready, and then she leaves for school at 8:15. She and her dad will drop off her little sister Janine 鈥� 

Jaelynn: And I鈥檓 at school from like 8:30 to 3 o鈥檆lock. 

Mendoza: School is what you鈥檇 expect. Afterwards, their dad does the whole thing in reverse: he picks Jaelynn up from school, they go get Janine 鈥� 

Jaelynn: And then I go home to change 鈥榗ause my work starts at 5, usually. And so I get dressed and then I eat and then I literally leave. 

Mendoza: At the coffee shop, Jaelynn works a six-hour shift.

Jaelynn: Either taking orders and making drinks, or like stocking, so that we have enough items to make the drinks.

[Ambient of Dutch Bros. coffee shop]

Jaelynn: Hey! Sorry, I鈥檓 like at work. 

Laine Perfas: I know, no, it鈥檚 OK!

Jaelynn: How are you guys today?  

Mendoza / Laine Perfas: We鈥檙e pretty good. How are you? 

Laine Perfas: It sounds busy 鈥� because it is. 

Jaelynn: Like, right now, I鈥檓 like filling up sauce bottles but then sometimes like I鈥檒l be making drinks. But pretty much this is like a typical day.  

Laine Perfas: It just feels like nonstop.  

Jaelynn: Yeah but I feel like, there鈥檚 鈥� it鈥檚 really fun though because I鈥檓 right now I鈥檓 working with my friends and stuff like that.

Laine Perfas: The Dutch Bros where she works is kind of like this big kiosk. It has a drive-through window, for cars, and also another window where people could literally walk up to order. Which was what we did. 

Jaelynn: Did you guys want to get a drink for today? 

Mendoza: Definitely. 

Laine Perfas: Yes.

Jaelynn: Now I鈥檓 treating you guys like you鈥檙e my customers.

Laine Perfas: We are your customers. That鈥檚 our one goal today鈥� 

Mendoza: It was a Sunday when we went to see her at work. But Jaelynn鈥檚 weeknight shift usually starts at 5 p.m. and ends at 11. Which makes for super long days. 

Laine Perfas: And after a while, the pace of everything would really catch up with her. With both of them. After all, they were doing all this 鈥� hybrid classes and going to work 鈥� during the pandemic. 

Jaelynn: There was this one day where I went home at like 3:30 and I had this assignment due at 4 p.m. Then I had work at 4:30. I had 30 minutes to do like, my entire assignment and turn it in. But yeah, I think also like with my sister working, we kind of like live this same life, we can bond over that. We鈥檒l both be crying because work and school is insane. 

[Music]

Mendoza: Jennifer Ashley, for her part, also really internalizes her role as the oldest. And that adds an extra layer of conflict for her.  

Jennifer Ashley: I always think about how my friends are 21 and they鈥檙e going out. They鈥檙e like doing all these things, they鈥檙e taking trips 鈥� obviously social distancing, we鈥檙e still in a pandemic. But they were doing all these things to figure out who they are. And I was stuck thinking about, 鈥淲hen is my next paycheck so I can feed my family?鈥�

But on the bright side, though, no matter how bad I feel about how like I鈥檓 struggling with the idea of falling behind. There鈥檚 days where like 鈥� when I first took my whole family out to a buffet and I paid for it. The look on their faces, because they鈥檝e never done that before? I don鈥檛 know, it was very 鈥� I enjoyed that. So that made everything that I did worth it.

[Music]

Mendoza: And that鈥檚 the heart of the issue for the Ciballos sisters. Jaelynn is a rising senior looking ahead to college. And Jennifer Ashley is trying to make grades good enough to get into nursing school. But how do you plan for your future when you鈥檙e just trying to keep up in the present? 

Laine Perfas: Coming up: Where the sisters are finding strength, hope, and time to dream 鈥� for themselves, and for each other. 

Trudy Palmer: Hi, I鈥檓 Trudy Palmer, a deputy editor for the Monitor Daily and one of the editors of this podcast series. I don鈥檛 know about you, but there was a lot I could relate to in 鈥淪tronger.鈥� In this last episode, for example, the sisters鈥� hectic schedules sounded all too familiar. For most of my life, I鈥檝e worked two or three jobs. That鈥檚 not exactly a recipe for work-life balance, but as with these women, you do what you gotta do. I think what that really means is that you do what鈥檚 needed for the people you love. That鈥檚 what 鈥淪tronger鈥� is about 鈥� women鈥檚 love and strength ... and some ways our society could work better for all of us. If you鈥檝e liked the series, I hope you鈥檒l support more work like this by subscribing to 海角大神. Just visit csmonitor.com/subscribe and join our community. Again, that鈥檚 csmonitor.com/subscribe. And thanks for listening.

[Music]

Laine Perfas: Throughout the pandemic, Jennifer Ashley and Jaelynn Ciballos were juggling an overwhelming schedule of school, and work, and planning for the future. And they were doing it all from a home that was not, let鈥檚 say, super conducive for quiet study or personal reflection. 

Mendoza: So when we sat down with them 鈥� 

Laine Perfas: 鈥� and their mom, Maria 鈥� 

Mendoza: 鈥� at their apartment this past spring, one of the things we wanted to know was: Was there ever any time to recharge? Where did they find the energy to keep going? 

[Music]

Jennifer Ashley: So during the the night time is when we鈥檙e all really connecting and kind of relaxing. We don鈥檛 really have to think about work. That鈥檚 when me and Jaelynn laugh the most. Like we鈥檙e always telling about each other鈥檚 days. We鈥檒l be at the dining table and then my mom will come in, and then we鈥檒l all be joking around over there. My dad will join in. 

Jaelynn: Or there are like, Saturdays where I鈥檒l go out with my mom and my sister and we鈥檒l get food and then we鈥檒l bring it home and we鈥檒l watch a movie like in her room. Which is really nice. 

Jennifer Ashley: Mmhm. And I think there鈥檚 there鈥檚 very rare days where in the middle of the week, like a random Tuesday or Thursday, that me and Jaelynn both don鈥檛 have work. And it鈥檒l be crazy because I鈥檒l have the car, too, that day. So on those rare days, we鈥檒l take Miles and Janine to go get ice cream or we鈥檒l go to like Michael鈥檚 and get some crafts stuff. That鈥檒l give my parents and my grandparents some peace of mind for at least like three to four hours, and we鈥檙e just like doing a little sibling day. Those days are probably the best. 

[Music]

Mendoza: And this is something we came to understand about the Ciballoses. So much of what drives their lives is family. 

Jennifer Ashley: That was something that was ingrained in me from like a very, very young age. My parents always told me that, you know, you only have one family. You have to care for them. 

Laine Perfas: For Jennifer Ashley, that鈥檚 really meant carrying the weight not just of her own future, but that of her family. 

Mendoza: In one of our first Zoom conversations, she told us that the first big thing she wanted to buy after she became a nurse was a house for her parents. 

Jennifer Ashley: My parents have never owned anything in their name besides a car. So that鈥檚 my first thing to do, is, you know, that鈥檚 the only thing really keeping me going 鈥� just knowing that if I become a nurse, I can fulfill the dreams my parents had when they were younger. I could do it for them. 

Laine Perfas: She said something similar when we met them in person: 

Jennifer Ashley: I see how my parents are struggling right now and I just want to get them out of it.  

Laine Perfas: It鈥檚 like, even if she sometimes feels trapped in her situation, she鈥檚 using that to motivate herself, too. And her family sees it. They all see each other making it work, and love each other for it, even if they don鈥檛 always tell each other that. 

Jaelynn: My sister, sometimes she can be so hard on herself. And she鈥檚 like, 鈥淚鈥檓 not doing it right.鈥� But I feel like when I see her, I鈥檓 like, dang 鈥� she鈥檚 really out here, she鈥檚 like, grinding. She鈥檚 going to work. She鈥檚 going to school. Like, college is not easy. Seeing her do those many things and then still being able to care for like, other people is really cool. I think it鈥檚 like something that I aspire to be.

Jennifer Ashley: Huh. See, that鈥檚 where we鈥檙e also really different. Like, um, whenever I hear things like that, I cry. But Jaelynn鈥檚 like, she鈥檚 like, 鈥淥h yeah, I鈥檒l absorb it.鈥� 

[Music]

But what I鈥檓 proud about Jaelynn is she鈥檚, like, super selfless. She would skip a bunch of school trips because she knew like, we couldn鈥檛 afford it. So even her teachers would be like, 鈥淭his is a good opportunity for you.鈥� And she鈥檇 be like, 鈥淚t鈥檚 fine.鈥� And we would never hear, like, any complaint from her. And at one point I had to give her my clothes, like hand me downs. She would never complain. She would like, rock those fits if she had to. 

I know there鈥檚 days she鈥檒l cry by herself and she鈥檒l break down. And it鈥檚 just really crazy because she doesn鈥檛 let that, you know, deter her from anything else.  

Jaelynn: Dang you got me there. 

Jennifer Ashley: She鈥檒l just 鈥� she鈥檒l just continue pushing. She鈥檒l continue chugging. And like, yeah, I鈥檓 proud of you.  

Jaelynn: You got me there! You got me there. 

Jennifer Ashley: I鈥檓 proud of you.  

[Music]

Mendoza: I don鈥檛 know if you can tell, but the waterworks were definitely on by then. And the whole time her daughters were talking about each other, Maria, their mom, kind of just sat there, listening, the face mask she was wearing growing damp from her own tears. Miles, the youngest, was trying to get everyone鈥檚 attention, but Sam went ahead with one more question for Maria.

Sam: What does it feel like to hear them say all this?  

Maria: It鈥檚 hard. Because I don鈥檛 want to go them to go through this, but sometimes I can鈥檛 do anything. And I always let them know that I鈥檓 always here for them no matter what. And I know they always cry for me. That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 so hard for me as a mom to hear all those [things]. Because it hurts me so much.  

[Music]

Laine Perfas: Before we wrap up, we want to bring in one more person who鈥檚 had a front-row seat to Jennifer Ashley and Jaelynn鈥檚 experience. And that鈥檚 Erica Mosca, the founder of LIT 鈥� the nonprofit where Jennifer Ashley worked as a program manager. And where both sisters were also students at different times. 

Erica Mosca: In very clear ways our students are resilient. They 鈥� they work full-time jobs to support their families. They stayed home to support their siblings through virtual education. You know, there鈥檚 not a lot good about COVID, but one thing that is a positive is people are realizing it鈥檚 really hard when we tell people, 鈥淛ust work hard and you鈥檒l succeed,鈥� when people work hard and they don鈥檛 succeed. That those are much bigger structural issues. I think that that鈥檚 actually where the work is.

[Music]

Laine Perfas: What gives you the most hope that we can change as a society and move forward to become a more equitable place?  

Mosca: Yeah, people like Jennifer Ashley and Jaelynn, right? You know, Jennifer Ashley, no matter how hard or what is in her way, she will become a nurse. She will become a nurse who cares about the community, who wants to work with populations that other individuals just don鈥檛 want to work for or work with. I think same thing with Jaelynn. She will be a leader. She鈥檒l be in charge. The archetype of what is a leader, who is a leader, she will challenge those. She will show you can come from a different background, you can look different and you can be a leader. 

The only way that I sleep at night is I truly believe we鈥檙e empowering the next generation who are going to take on these social issues because they actually experienced it themselves and will be in a position of power to do something about it. 

[Music]

Mendoza: Back at the Ciballoses鈥� home, we asked the women about their hopes for the future. 

Mendoza: Having lived through this past year, but also looking ahead, you know, you鈥檙e both working so hard for your family, also trying to achieve your own goals and ambitions. What sort of life do you envision for each other?

Maria: Me, for my kids? I want them to achieve what they dream of, like you like finishing school. I鈥檓 looking forward to them like doing that and fulfill[ing] that. 

Jaelynn: For my sister, I want her to do something that she wants to do not because, like, she鈥檚 forced to. Because I always feel like she鈥檚 always doing things either for me or for just someone else. And I want her to get the job that she wants. And also just like do things just for herself, like not even thinking about anyone else for once.  

Jennifer Ashley: It鈥檚 hard to think about sometimes 鈥� ooh. Ooh!

Jaelynn: Oh my gosh, you guys are so 鈥�

Laine Perfas: It鈥檚 OK if you cry. Safe space!

Jennifer Ashley: I should鈥檝e went first! Yeah, it鈥檚 like a question that鈥檚 always in my head. But like, I don鈥檛 like saying it out loud because I know I get emotional about it. 鈥楥ause like, you know, I have a lot of hopes and ambitions for Jaelynn. Like basically what she told me, like, I don鈥檛 want her to like, think about anyone else. I want her to just have fun in college. You know, she doesn鈥檛 have to worry about what鈥檚 going on back home. 

That鈥檚 why I always tell her. Like, if you want to go out of state, you can do it. Obviously, the issue is financial stuff. But I鈥檓 pretty sure you can get a ton of scholarships, like shoot for the stars. Don鈥檛 let anything hold you back even if we鈥檙e here. Like, you鈥檒l be fine, you know?

[Music]

Laine Perfas: It鈥檚 been so great getting to know you guys and getting to know your family. And we鈥檙e sorry we made you cry. You鈥檙e going to make me cry. [Crosstalk, laughter] 

Jennifer Ashley: I think it鈥檚 good to have these questions because I think there鈥檚 a lot of things that we鈥檝e said that we鈥檝e never told each other.  

Jaelynn: It鈥檚 like very weird. 

Jennifer Ashley: It鈥檚 just 鈥� I鈥檓 like yeah, we talk to each other with, like, humor. But I don鈥檛 think we鈥檝e ever had, like, the real talk of what have we really been through? Like, we actually look at each other and tell each other like, Oh, we鈥檙e struggling. So we don鈥檛 really have those conversations because obviously this is what happens. [Laughter]

[Music]

Mendoza: What a journey this has been, Sam.

Laine Perfas: I know! I鈥檓 like, weeping, happy tears, sad tears, all the tears, and I鈥檓 just so grateful that all these amazing women just opened up about their year to us. I learned so much. And I really hope we can all move forward from this, you know, stronger. Wink, wink.

Mendoza: OK. I see what you did there. But no, you鈥檙e right. And we鈥檙e so thankful to all of you for joining us. Whether this is the only episode you鈥檝e listened to, or if you鈥檝e been with us through this whole series, thank you so much. 

[Music]

Mendoza: And if we could lean on your support one more time: Please rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts. 

Laine Perfas: And to find transcripts for the episodes and photos of all the women, visit csmonitor.com/stronger. 

Mendoza: This episode was reported and produced by me, Jessica Mendoza.

Laine Perfas: And me, Samantha Laine Perfas.

Mendoza: Edited by Clay Collins and Trudy Palmer. Sound design by Morgan Anderson and Noel Flatt. We also want to thank Ann Hermes and Jake Turcotte for their work on the art for this series. 

Laine Perfas: This podcast was brought to you by 海角大神. Copyright 2021. 

[Music]

[Ambient of Dutch Bros. coffee shop]

Jaelynn: It鈥檚 really good, I would get a Flap Jack, which is salted caramel, vanilla white, and chocolate. And then add Soft Top, which is like a marshmallow fluff, and then put cinnamon and nutmeg sprinkles. 

Laine Perfas: Oh my gosh. [Laughs]

Jaelynn: I don鈥檛 know, it鈥檚 a pretty good drink!

Laine Perfas: I will do that.

Jaelynn: Do you know what size?

Laine Perfas: A medium. 

Jaelynn: What else can I get for you guys today?

Mendoza: I鈥檒l get the Double Rainbro?

Jaelynn: I always get the Double Rainbro, that one鈥檚 really good too. You guys are getting all my drinks!

[Laughter]

Dutch Bros. employee: I have your Flap Jack and Double Rainbro. Do you want straws today?

Laine Perfas / Mendoza: No thank you, we鈥檙e good. Bye Jaelynn!

Jaelynn: Bye, thank you!

END