海角大神

Episode transcript

[Music]

Megan Cohen: I didn鈥檛 want The Grace Project to only be about addiction. I wanted it to be about hope. Because my story is not one about addiction. It鈥檚 about hope and the power that hope can have, and when it鈥檚 restored in you, what it can do 鈥� [bring] hope and faith.

Dave Scott: That鈥檚 Megan Cohen, founder of The Grace Project in Warrington, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philadelphia. And as you listen to excerpts of our conversation, you鈥檒l see that this is a story about a woman鈥檚 personal journey of redemption and generosity and a quest to pay it forward.

Welcome to People Making a Difference, a podcast about people who are step by step making a better world. 

I鈥檓 Dave Scott. 

Welcome Meg.

Megan Cohen: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Dave Scott: Meg was a good student, played sports, had friends, but in high school she started partying, first using alcohol then a few pills, because, [as] she told me, she thought she was too smart to get hooked. But the path to addiction is often a slippery slope and a familiar one for families caught in what has become a national opioid epidemic. And by the time she was 26, she鈥檇 been in and out of 71 rehab centers. And in jail four times, mostly for theft. She鈥檇 lived homeless in the streets of Miami, Detroit, Palm Springs, and the Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia, which is the biggest outdoor drug market on the East Coast.

But there was a turning point about two years ago. She was the recipient of small acts of kindness by complete strangers. So I started by asking her about those acts of kindness and why they touched her.

Megan Cohen: When total strangers, you know, reminded me that I was still a person, the impact that it had, it kind of restored hope in me.

I was at the point where I didn鈥檛 think I could ever live a different life. I鈥檇 been in so many treatment centers, in and out of jail, homeless all over the place, and was at the point where my family, rightfully so, didn鈥檛 really want much to do with me. 

There were a lot of people that I encountered when I was out there, but the last one was a woman that ended up taking me into her house. And that鈥檚 something I always tell people: I don鈥檛 recommend taking somebody 鈥� who is in the state of mind that I was in 鈥� into your home, the way that she did. But for me, that was what I needed at the time. And, the connection that we had 鈥� because there was a language barrier there 鈥� just through a woman who is translating. Then, we went into the house, just the two of us, and she let me take a shower, gave me clean clothes, and gave me food. And before I left, we just looked into each other鈥檚 eyes and both of us started crying, and she didn鈥檛 know me from a can of paint.

I never talked to this woman before in my life and we couldn鈥檛 use words to communicate. But that kind of said it all. And I looked at that as my God moment. And that鈥檚 when I started opening up to the fact that there was something watching over me and maybe I鈥檓 meant for more. And maybe, let鈥檚 just give this one more chance.

And I called my mom and told her she could come pick me up and she turned me in to jail that night. And that was the start of my journey to actually finding recovery.

Dave Scott: Wow. So what did you mean when you said, 鈥渢hat was my God moment鈥�?

Megan Cohen: I was never really a religious person. I wasn鈥檛 brought up religious, not spiritual, or anything along those lines, but there was no denying that there was something or someone watching over me. I should be dead at this point, the amount of times that I鈥檝e overdosed or been in situations that I shouldn鈥檛 have been able to get out of, and I was able to get out of. There was definitely something looking out. 

And then when this happened, I was in an abandoned house, right before I walked out and encountered this woman. When my back was against the wall and I had nobody else to turn to, and I was just by myself, out in the streets, all of a sudden I started praying. I would just be begging God: 鈥淪how me a sign that my life is meant for more. Show me that this isn鈥檛 what it鈥檚 going to be, or just take me. Intervene in some way because I can鈥檛 do this anymore.鈥� 

And I walked out of that house after saying exactly that, and the woman came up to me.  This lady doesn鈥檛 even know me. It just seemed like it was a direct answer to my prayers. 

Then, looking at everything else that had happened in my life: So many times where 鈥� I call my higher power God 鈥� God was present in my life. The situations that I had been in that, in my eyes, he helped me get out of it. I couldn鈥檛 be resistant to it anymore. 

Dave Scott: So after that God moment, Meg calls her mom to come pick her up 鈥� knowing that her mom would legally and morally have to turn her into the police. Meg had outstanding warrants for her arrest. Meg serves two months in jail, then a drug-court judge decides to give her one more shot at turning around her life and sends her to a rehab program instead of the Pennsylvania state prison.

Fast forward, one year later, Meg is in recovery, still sober. She鈥檚 got a job and that鈥檚 when, after a conversation with her mom, she starts The Grace Project. Every Thursday night, Meg and other volunteers go to the streets of Philadelphia to hand out food and water, clothing, and hygiene kits. Essentially, she鈥檚 going back to the same places where she lived on the streets. The Grace Project has been going on now for about a year, but I asked Meg how it got started.

Megan Cohen: So it鈥檚 actually kind of crazy how it all happened. So, basically the night that my mom came and got me, I had asked her to bring out some water and food for the people that were out there, and she did.

When she saw the reaction that the people had out there, when she brought the food, that did something for her and it felt good for me. And I had said to my mom, not even necessarily believing that it was true, but 鈥渙ne day I鈥檓 going to come back out here, and I鈥檓 going to do something good and I鈥檓 going to give back.鈥�

I don鈥檛 know if I really meant that. I knew that I wanted to, but I still wasn鈥檛 sure if I was going to be able to turn my life around. So when COVID hit, my mom texted me and she was, 鈥淗ey, if I were to go bring food out to Kensington, what areas would I go to?鈥�

鈥淵ou鈥檙e crazy. If you think you鈥檙e going out there without me... You don鈥檛 know the area like I do. I鈥檓 going to go with you. I鈥檒l make a post on Facebook.鈥� And, I made this post and the post took off and a bunch of people wanted to get involved and people wanted to donate. 

I wanted the integrity of it to be protected because I felt it could go so much further than what we were already doing. So I was saving up to move out of a recovery house at the time, and I used the money that I was saving up to file all the paperwork to become incorporated, to protect the integrity of The Grace Project. 

So I had to come up with a name. I remember going back and forth about it for days. The recovery house owner, I was on the phone with her because we were really close at this point. I was managing the house. And we鈥檙e like, 鈥淲hat can we do? Should it be like an acronym?鈥� And she says, 鈥淲ell, I always liked the idea of grace.鈥� And I was like, 鈥淚 do too, because like I鈥檝e been shown grace in my life.鈥�

Even the life that I have today, I look at that as God鈥檚 grace, because I don鈥檛 necessarily deserve it. So first it was going to be Grateful, Recovering Addicts, Caring for Each other. But again, I had this bigger vision. I didn鈥檛 want The Grace Project to only be about Kensington or only be about addiction. I wanted it to be about hope, because my story is not one about addiction. It鈥檚 about hope and the power that hope can have. And when it鈥檚 restored in you, what it can do: Hope and faith. 

Eventually I ended up just taking out the acronym completely and leaving it as grace. So now it鈥檚 just specifically 鈥淭he Grace Project.鈥� The name is very fitting because it鈥檚 all about acts of kindness 鈥� for people that for whatever reason have lost hope in their lives.

Dave Scott: Beautiful. I love it. I was on your website and I saw that you鈥檝e got T-shirts and hoodies and things like that. And on the back of the T-shirts it says, 鈥淗ope dealer,鈥� which I think is very clever, but it鈥檚 also a tall promise. What have you learned about dealing hope?

Megan Cohen: I would say, honestly, the best thing that I have to offer is my own personal story, because my own story is [about] hitting that complete rock bottom and feeling what it鈥檚 like to feel complete hopelessness and then having that restored.

So all that I can do 鈥� and that my volunteers can do 鈥� is bring a message to people that your life can get better. That鈥檚 really what it鈥檚 all about: It鈥檚 showing people kindness. It鈥檚 showing them that they鈥檙e still cared about.

Dave Scott: And given that perspective that you can bring, when you have a conversation with someone on the street, do you feel like they鈥檙e listening? Going back to Meg of five years ago, when you鈥檙e talking to somebody, do you think 鈥渢hey鈥檙e not listening, they鈥檙e not ready?鈥� How do you gauge where they are in that journey and whether they鈥檙e willing to be helped?

Megan Cohen: Honestly, I try not to gauge it. They might not say, 鈥淗ey, I want to go to treatment.鈥� But if they鈥檙e not ready, then, they鈥檙e not ready.

Again, all we can do is try to plant those seeds. And it can be frustrating. Sometimes, I just want to shake people: 鈥淵our life can be so much better. You鈥檙e wasting it out here.鈥� But it鈥檚 their process. Again, all I can do is try to plant a little bit of hope and see what comes from it.

But we have gotten some people into treatment. We鈥檝e even had some of our volunteers go out and speak in treatment centers. One of them had somebody come up to him, and he recognized [him] from going out on a Thursday and talking to him and giving him food. So, you know, it definitely makes an impact.

It鈥檚 just being patient and not getting discouraged because most of the people out there, they鈥檙e not ready. I always have to tell my volunteers before we go out, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to want to save everyone, especially when you have a conversation with somebody out there and you can see that they鈥檙e a genuine person, and that they can be so much more. It hurts sometimes because you just want to make them go [into treatment]. But we can鈥檛 do that. We can鈥檛 do that. We can just be available when they鈥檙e ready and bring a message out there.鈥� And that鈥檚 it.

Dave Scott: What advice would you give to the family of someone struggling with addiction? Now, your relationships are good [with your family]. But over the last 10 years, when you were on this journey, there were some difficult times between you and your family.  If you were giving advice to another family, who鈥檚 wrestling with the challenge of watching a child or a sibling become addicted to drugs, what would you say?

Megan Cohen: If it鈥檚 in the early stages, intervention in any way possible, whether that鈥檚 getting them the education or pushing somebody to go to treatment before it gets out of control. Any of those early interventions. That鈥檚 huge because once it continues to progress, it gets harder and harder. That鈥檚 the point that I got to.

Then on the other end of it, when things are bad, the best thing that my mom did was finally telling me I didn鈥檛 have the option of coming back home to her house. Not giving me money, not enabling me in any way, no matter what story I told her. Because I used to come up with the most off the wall stories to try to get money out of her, get her to let me come home. She had to put her foot down because she had to stop depriving me of [finding] my bottom, if that makes sense.

I had to hit that bottom. But in reality, me being under her roof wasn鈥檛 keeping me from using and it was making it a little bit easier for me to think that things were under control while I was under her roof. Whereas, when she kicked me out, that unmanageability was screaming in my face every day: 鈥淭his is not OK. We鈥檙e not OK, right now.鈥�

So I would say the biggest thing, it鈥檚 hard, but not enabling. Like I said, my family wasn鈥檛 really talking to me. But they made it very clear that they were there when I wanted help. So they let me know that I was loved. I was aware that they loved me and I was aware that they were there when I was done doing the things that I was doing. But they weren鈥檛 going to sit on the sidelines and watch me kill myself anymore. They were done with that. 鈥淚 love you. I鈥檓 here to help you, but I鈥檓 not going to enable you anymore.鈥� And then I reached my bottom quicker. 

Dave Scott: So, you鈥檝e been in rehab. You tried to get off drugs like 70 times at this point. What happened on that 71st attempt that was so different?

Megan Cohen: I think it was honestly, it was just the fact that there was so much evidence in front of me that my way didn鈥檛 work. I had somebody years back say to me, 鈥淪top trying to outsmart the program and stop trying to outsmart my disease.鈥� For so long part of why I couldn鈥檛 get it was because I kept trying to do it my way, for me to run the show, and [I was] not having faith in something bigger than myself. And I wish that I realized that sooner.

I wasn鈥檛 open to it. I really thought that, 鈥渢here鈥檚 no way that this little powder or this little crack rock is more powerful than I am.鈥� It didn鈥檛 work out, and with so many attempts, it was just clear as day. And I  always say, 鈥淚 wish I stopped trying to outsmart it a lot sooner because I can鈥檛 imagine where my life would be today if I wasn鈥檛 so stubborn.鈥�

Dave Scott: I鈥檓 thinking back to the first story you told us, where you were a recipient of an act of kindness. This one woman brought you in and gave you a shower 鈥� the stranger did. It seems that you鈥檝e come full circle. You are now the stranger offering kindness in Kensington. So, how has The Grace Project transformed you over the past year?

Megan Cohen: I would say, honestly, it keeps it fresh for me: Going out there and being reminded of where I came from and what I got out of. There鈥檚 not really words to describe the feeling that I get when somebody does want to get help, what that does. It fills my cup up. Spiritually, it fills my cup up. Your life is actually great compared to what it was and compared to what these other people are going through. 

On the other end of that, [I鈥檓] trying to be the person that tries to pull them out of that or, at least, make them feel a little bit better 鈥� whether it鈥檚 temporary or really completely pulls them out of it.  Just doing something to make them feel better.

And it鈥檚 been a learning process. Nonprofits, there鈥檚 a lot that goes into it that I didn鈥檛 know. Like I said, I didn鈥檛 plan for it and I work full-time and I鈥檓 in school. So there鈥檚 so much that I still have to learn and I鈥檓 still figuring it out. But it鈥檚 really showed me that I鈥檓 capable of anything that I put my mind to.

If we put our minds to something and we put our full effort into it, we can do it. That鈥檚 been something that鈥檚 really been great that I鈥檝e gotten out of The Grace Project. And, valuing myself more and realizing that I can do it.

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Dave Scott: I don鈥檛 know if you heard it, but I was impressed when Meg began her Grace Project, and the donations started to flow, that she wanted the project to have integrity. That meant setting up a proper nonprofit, registering it, and creating a governing board and a treasurer. This is still a baby nonprofit, barely a year old. And while it was born out of Meg鈥檚 recovery and a desire to give back, she鈥檚 got a bigger vision. As she says, 鈥渢o grow beyond helping addicts.鈥� She recently started the 鈥淕ive a Little Hope鈥欌�� program for children dealing with poverty, illness or parental addiction. And Meg and her board are looking at other ideas, such as supporting other 鈥済ood Samaritans鈥� in the community.

To learn more about her efforts, go to the website: . 

And here鈥檚 this week鈥檚 challenge: Commit an act of kindness to a stranger. 

It doesn鈥檛 have to be a grand gesture, like bringing a person who is homeless into your home for a shower. It can be something modest, such as letting a stranger go ahead of you in line, or lending a helping hand, or paying it forward at Starbucks. Then, tell me how it went: Call me at (617) 450-2410 and leave me a voice message about what happened. That鈥檚 (617) 450-2410. 

Thanks for listening to People Making a Difference, a podcast about people 鈥� like you 鈥� who are, step-by-step, making a better world.

This podcast was produced by 海角大神, copyright 2021

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