Want to help solve political polarization? Maybe start with civility.
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Mark Sappenfield Editor
Are we overdoing democracy? That might sound like an odd question. But it鈥檚 an essential one.
On Tuesday, I talked with Alexandra Hudson, author of 鈥淭he Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles To Heal Society and Ourselves.鈥澛燱e explored the difference between civility and politeness, and the connection between civility and trust, and we discussed how these ideals stretch across eras and places in a universal way.
But that comment struck a chord. Here鈥檚 the full quote.
Why We Wrote This
A story focused onPolarization and mistrust are high in American politics today. How do we get out of that spiral? A conversation with Alexandra Hudson offers clues.
鈥淲e鈥檙e overdoing democracy and undermining democracy,鈥� Ms. Hudson said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 detrimental to our ... freedom and our flourishing but also to our own souls, too 鈥� to expect too much out of politics and to derive our ultimate meaning from these issues.鈥�
Have we let politics usurp its proper place in our shared living? That鈥檚 Ms. Hudson鈥檚 question.聽If so, civility is one crucial way to right the balance.
Civility is not about politeness 鈥� as many people assume. Rather, it鈥檚 the unshakable conviction in every human being鈥檚 worth and the determination not to be goaded into thinking or acting otherwise. In other words, it鈥檚 a commitment to putting humanity first.
In that way, it鈥檚 not about sweeping things under the rug. In fact, it can mean the opposite. 鈥淪ometimes, actually respecting someone 鈥� actually loving someone 鈥� requires being impolite, requires having a hard conversation,鈥� she said.
Done right, civility brings perspective, and that perspective is essential to civil society and democracy. It helps us get our priorities right, and in doing so, we build trust by becoming trustworthy ourselves.
If we care only about winning at any cost, we undermine our ability to live together.聽聽
Ms. Hudson pointed to the example of people like Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. 鈥淭hey knew the means mattered,鈥� she said.
鈥淚n their pursuit of equal recognition and respect for human dignity, they couldn鈥檛 undermine the dignity of some people 鈥� their fellow citizens, their fellow human beings 鈥� along the way,鈥� Ms. Hudson said.
The good news, she added, is that she sees a 鈥渞enaissance鈥� of people trying to rebuild society鈥檚 ties 鈥� and trust. She cited examples of people breaking out of their media and cultural 鈥渂ubbles鈥� to reach out to people of all backgrounds and become a point of connection.
鈥淲e can do that, too,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 the empowering message 鈥� that people are doing this, and it鈥檚 not a superpower. We can start right now. ... It鈥檚 about using what we do have and opening up our homes and hearts to others.鈥�
In the end, it鈥檚 not rocket science 鈥� or even anything particularly new. From ancient Egypt to ancient China to ancient Greece, thoughtful people have, again and again, come to the same conclusions. These principles are essential to healthy human societies.
It comes down to, 鈥淲hat works when it comes to doing life together, and what doesn鈥檛?鈥� Ms. Hudson said. 鈥淎nd let鈥檚 do more of what works, and less of what doesn鈥檛.鈥�
