My five favorite things in the stimulus bill
Driving into work today, listening to C-SPAN radio, I heard some House Republicans complaining that the stimulus bill contained money to buy green golf carts for government employees.
That鈥檚 鈥済reen鈥� as in nonpolluting 鈥� as opposed to green, the color.
That sounded interesting, so I read the bill to see if I could find the reference. (Look, I鈥檓 the kind of person who listens to C-SPAN radio, OK? My favorite comic strip is 鈥淛udge Parker鈥�.) And the phrase 鈥済olf cart鈥� isn鈥檛 in there, at least in the 500-page section that deals with appropriations.
However, there is a provision that allocates $300 million to Energy-Efficient Federal Motor Vehicle Fleet Procurement, including hybrid vehicles, electric vehicles, and plug-in hybrid vehicles. I鈥檓 guessing the GOP extrapolated from there.
Here鈥檚 some other stuff in the bill, which passed the House and Senate Feb. 13, that intrigued me. If you鈥檝e got any more information about any of these things, please let us know.
Stimulus to zoos: No cash for you
Somebody in Congress maybe doesn鈥檛 like wild animals. None of the money in the bill can be used 鈥渇or any casino, or other gambling establishment, aquarium, zoo, golf course, or swimming pool,鈥� says the stimulus bill鈥檚 language.
Really, that鈥檚 harsh. Lumping aquariums in with slots parlors? Maybe somebody had a bad experience at the dolphin show when they were a kid.
'Oooh, and the salmon's as high as an elephant's eye'
Aquaculture, or fish farming to us lay people, is a big winner in the stimulus bill.
There鈥檚 $50 million in the bill for aquaculture. It appears to be directed primarily at assisting 鈥渆ligible aquaculture producers for losses associated with high feed input costs during the 2008 calendar year.鈥�
What about tax cuts for fried clams? I didn鈥檛 see that in there.
A 'green' golf cart for Yogi?
The stimulus bill contains $146 million for 鈥渃ritical repair and rehabilitation projects鈥� for the National Park Service. I think I speak for all Americans who have ever set foot in a Yellowstone rest room, when I say, this constitutes tax dollars well-spent.
The National Park Service has been starved of maintenance dollars for years and could use this cash. Plus, some of them were built by the WPA during the New Deal. It鈥檚 stimulus generational symmetry.
Strangely, snuggies weren't mentioned
There鈥檚 billions of dollars for weatherization in the stimulus bill. Upwards of $6.2 billion. President Obama says he wants a sevenfold jump in the number of homes weatherized under federal programs each year, from 140,000 to 1 million.
But the only actual weatherization technique officially approved in bill language as being cost-effective is 鈥渋nsulation of attics.鈥� It鈥檚 right there, Section 407, paragraph c, line 14.
Why? What鈥檚 wrong with programmable thermostats? Double-pane windows?
But can they use it in a sentence?
The next-to-last page of the appropriations section of the most expensive bill ever passed by Congress 鈥� quite possibly the most far-reaching single piece of legislation ever produced anywhere by any freely elected body 鈥� tells us this: 鈥渢he term 鈥榟ire鈥� means to permit a new employee to commence a period of employment.鈥�
Woah, thanks House Rules Committee! That tip鈥檚 worth $800 billion right there.
