海角大神

Let鈥檚 say I鈥檓 sitting at a coffee shop waiting on a friend to arrive. I have a warm cup of something delicious on the table in front of me and I鈥檓 reading a website on my phone.

It鈥檚 a simple story, right? However, it鈥檚 one built upon a stack of decisions with financial implications.

Why did we choose to go out at all?
Why did we choose this particular coffee shop?
How did I travel to this shop, and how will I travel home?
Why did I choose to get the beverage sitting in front of me?
Why did I choose (or not choose) to get a food item as well?
Why did I choose to have a cell phone at all?
Why did I choose to have this specific phone?
Why did I choose to have this cell phone provider?
Why did I choose to have the data plan that I鈥檓 using?

That simple little scene rests upon these nine financial decisions 鈥� and likely upon many more, as these just happened to be the more obvious ones. All of those decisions are adding 鈥� or subtracting 鈥� dollars from that simple moment.

Most of the questions were answered at a time and a place far away from that coffee shop scene. I decided on my cell phone, the provider, and the data plan when I was shopping for such things. We chose to go out days in advance when we got ahold of each other and concocted our plan.

In fact, the only decision I actually made inside the coffee shop was what to eat and what to drink.

Yet, in order to be at that shop dawdling on my phone, I鈥檝e invested money in the trip to the shop and I鈥檒l have to invest more to get home. I had to buy the cell phone and the cell phone plan.

When I start looking at situations through this kind of 鈥渄ecision stack鈥� lens,聽the first thing I like to do is deconstruct.聽Which elements can I take away from this picture and still leave the large part of what I enjoy about this situation?

If I didn鈥檛 have that cell phone with the data plan, I鈥檇 probably be reading a newspaper that the coffee shop provided or a book that I brought with me. Would this really reduce my enjoyment of that moment?

If I didn鈥檛 order a coffee, I might be sitting there with a cup of water in front of me. Would that have reduced my enjoyment of the moment?

What if I had simply invited my friend over for coffee at my kitchen table? I would have saved on the cost of going to the coffee shop and home from the shop. Would that have reduced the enjoyment? This might have made my friend somewhat less likely to come due to the change in location, though.

In the end,聽I recognized that the real core of what I enjoy about this moment is the time spent with the friend.聽The cell phone with the data plan? Not necessary. The coffee? Not necessary. The trip to the coffee shop? Not necessary unless it makes the meeting with the friend possible.

All of those elements are things I聽choose聽to add into the core experience.聽I don鈥檛 need coffee or a car or a cell phone to enjoy my time with a friend. Those are just extra expenses I鈥檓 choosing to add into the equation.

One of the biggest reasons that people end up getting trapped under a huge pile of expenses 鈥� and I鈥檓 certainly guilty of this as well 鈥� is that we start to overlook that big stack of decisions.聽We compress many of them together and tell ourselves that this is the baseline 鈥渘ormal.鈥�

Is it? Does it have to be that way? Why?

I certainly enjoy the convenience of having a cell phone with a data plan, but I also recognize that it鈥檚 a comfort. There are many situations where it鈥檚 convenient and useful, but there are no situations where it鈥檚 required.

I certainly enjoy having a coffee once in a while, but I recognize that a coffee at a coffee shop is purely a comfort. I would enjoy life if there was a cup of water on the table in front of me instead.

Whenever I make the decision to have these comforts, I鈥檓 choosing to put aside other comforts in life. I cannot 鈥渉ave it all.鈥�

Because of that, every once in a while, it鈥檚 worthwhile to just stand back and look at the decision stack of the everyday moments in my life and question all of those decision. I just take apart an ordinary moment like this and look at all of the decisions I鈥檝e made that make up that moment.

Are each of those decisions the right one? Would the money I鈥檝e invested in that decision be better used somewhere else?

Most of the time, I鈥檒l end up deciding that I was making the right call 鈥� and you probably will, too.

Sometimes, though, I鈥檒l begin to see that I鈥檓 throwing money into a creature comfort that isn鈥檛 really doing a whole lot for me and I鈥檒l realize that money could be used better somewhere else. Even if those discoveries are rare, the time spent figuring it out and correcting that decision is almost always worth it.

It鈥檚 also worth it to recognize that聽I really could live without many of the comforts I enjoy.聽When it comes down to it, most of the core things I truly enjoy and value in my life are free or are highly inexpensive. I enjoy conversations with friends. I enjoy reading books from the library or playing a board game that鈥檚 already in my home with a friend. I enjoy spending time with my children. I enjoy listening to the radio, particularly NPR. I enjoy writing and solving puzzles and exercising a little.

The comforts I choose to take on add to my life, but they鈥檙e not irreplaceable. My life doesn鈥檛 fall apart without them. The core things I value still remain.

In the end, I turn the question to you. Take a moment and tear apart the decision stack for a moment in your own life. What decisions have you made that make up the details of that moment? How many of those decisions were good ones that you still stand by? (Most of them, likely.) Which ones do you regret? (One or two, possibly.) How can you fix them the next time around?

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