海角大神

Recently, I came across聽聽arguing 鈥� quite convincingly 鈥� that parents are poor financial role models for their kids. From the article:

鈥�Most parents (77%) say they are not always honest with their kids about money; 15% lie weekly. Half are willing to discuss saving and spending issues but almost no one talks about tougher concepts like inflation (19%), investing (16%), diversification (11%), and asset allocation (8%). A third avoid talking about the family鈥檚 finances altogether."听

Let鈥檚 break that down, piece by piece.聽

Most parents (77%) say they are not always honest with their kids about money聽As a parent, I will say that it鈥檚 incredibly difficult to always be 100% honest with your kids about money 鈥� but that depends on what you mean by honesty. Some parents might view full honesty as requiring them to tell their children about every financial issue that might affect them 鈥� otherwise, aren鈥檛 you being dishonest by exclusion? I think that it鈥檚聽very聽valuable for parents to be fully honest with their kids when financial questions come up, but they don鈥檛 need to be privy to every financial discussion, particularly when they鈥檙e young.

15% lie weekly聽This part is a bit awkward, though. If your financial situation is in such disrepair that you feel the need to lie to your kids about money聽weekly, then something is awry.

Half are willing to discuss saving and spending issues聽Only half? Also, discussing these kinds of things in the abstract isn鈥檛 a good way to reach teenagers or younger children. You have to make it tangible and connected to something in their life that they care about.

[A]lmost no one talks about tougher concepts like inflation (19%), investing (16%), diversification (11%), and asset allocation (8%).聽These are tougher issues to discuss, particularly when children are younger, but I think all of them should be a part of discussions during the teenage years.

A third avoid talking about the family鈥檚 finances altogether.聽A third? That鈥檚 a third of children who will have no idea what to do about family finances when they reach adulthood.

I draw two conclusions from all of this.

贵颈谤蝉迟,听there are a lot of families in financial distress.聽If you鈥檙e lying to your children on any regular basis about your financial state, then there is some aspect of your financial life that you do not feel comfortable with, which is usually a sign that there鈥檚 something out of whack.

I鈥檝e found that, as a parent,聽my children are moral arbiters, to some extent.聽If I鈥檓 doing something, I鈥檒l often ask myself whether I could explain the decision I鈥檓 making to my kids and explain why it鈥檚 the right decision. If I couldn鈥檛 do that, should I be doing it at all?

It鈥檚 a pretty simple test and it cuts right through a lot of nonsense. It also makes it easier for me to explain anything going on in my life to them (except for the strictly adult elements).

If we鈥檙e in financial distress, it鈥檚 going to be as a result of a series of bad choices on my own part, ones that I would be unable to explain to them. If I鈥檓 making a decision I can鈥檛 explain to them, I think聽very seriouslyabout whether or not I should follow through with it.

厂别肠辞苍诲,听a lot of parents simply can鈥檛 find a way to communicate money issues with their children, whether it鈥檚 because of an uncomfortable topic or because of their own lack of knowledge.

Neither one is an adequate reason to skip out on discussing a money topic with your family.聽If you skip talking to your kid about a life issue because it鈥檚 uncomfortable or because you don鈥檛 know enough about it, you鈥檙e failing as a parent.

If I ran the country,聽every parent would receive a copy of聽Raising Financially Fit Kids聽the day their child was born, and they鈥檇 be required to read it.聽It鈥檚 the best one-shot book I鈥檝e seen on how to teach your children about money issues.

If you鈥檙e a parent and you would mark a poor answer on any of those survey questions, rethink how you鈥檙e teaching your kids about money. You鈥檙e doing them 鈥� and by extension yourself 鈥� a disservice.

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