海角大神

When I first tried it, I did聽not聽like kale. Now, our garden is full of the green leaves and we put it in practically everything.

At first, I was聽very聽unhappy with giving up on my bookstore visits. I felt like I was losing something that was part of who I was and I missed it聽terribly聽at first. Now, I look at bookstore visits as a special treat.

In each case, a big part of my success in finding a better path was simply聽telling myself聽over and over again that I liked the new thing.

Whenever I鈥檇 eat kale, I鈥檇 consciously think to myself that I liked this stuff. I鈥檇 pair it with other foods that I liked at first so that it would have a leg up, and then I鈥檇 make an effort to reflect positively on the food after eating it.

Over time, I moved from hating kale to disliking it to being indifferent toward it to, now, liking it in most things.聽

For the bookstore visits, I started going to the library a lot. At first, I didn鈥檛 like going to the library, at least in comparison to the bookstore. Over time, though, I started reflecting on all of the things I聽liked聽about it. I could always pick up any book I found and walk out with it for free. I could reserve basically any book I could imagine.

Over time, I moved from disliking the library to quite liking it (though, I admit, I鈥檓 not a fan of the ongoing construction project).

I simply wouldn鈥檛 have believed that this could work a few years ago, but it does.聽If you repeatedly tell yourself that you like something and you focus intensely on the positive attributes of that thing, you鈥檒l grow to like it more and more.

Here are a few tips I鈥檝e noticed along the way.

It鈥檚 much harder 鈥� at least for me 鈥� to start聽disliking聽something I like.聽I can go from disliking something to liking it, but I find it harder to go from liking something to disliking it. I tend to be swayed much more by positive attributes than by negative ones.

Replacing something I like works much better if I focus on the positives of the replacement.聽This is basically a logical follow-up to the previous idea. Rather than making myself dislike something I love (like bookstores), I work on making my appreciation of a replacement grow (like libraries).

Pairing the new thing with something I know I like tends to work really well.聽I鈥檒l put a food I don鈥檛 like in a dish with lots of things that I do like, which makes it easier to appreciate the new food. When I started going to the library instead of the bookstore, I made sure to start with books that I鈥檇 been eager to read but hadn鈥檛 quite talked myself into buying so I could get that 鈥減leasure rush鈥� of a good new book. Associating other positive feelings with the thing you鈥檙e trying to like makes the whole process easier.

This tactic has varying degrees of success, but when it works, it鈥檚 tremendously helpful.聽I find it works best when it鈥檚 addressing something that I have limited contact with 鈥� like a specific food 鈥� or when I can find lots of positives with the replacement 鈥� like the library. When I鈥檓 trying to tackle a change that requires a lot of effort 鈥� like exercise 鈥� or when I鈥檓 looking at a replacement where I can鈥檛 find positive attributes, I struggle.

For the most part, liking and disliking things is a conscious choice, one we can control if we put our minds to it. If we work towards liking things that save us money, then we鈥檝e improved our finances without taking away life鈥檚 enjoyment.

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