海角大神

I鈥檓 going to give you a quick sample of a key sentence or two from several recent reader emails.

鈥�Now if I could only get my husband on board.鈥�

鈥�The next stop? Getting the credit cards out of her hands.鈥�

鈥�Now I just need to convince her to stop using the debit card every time she wants something.鈥�

鈥�If my husband would stop golfing three times a week this would work out well.鈥�

鈥�She isn鈥檛 really on board with this so I don鈥檛 know how it will work.鈥�

Here鈥檚 a quick truth for you: if you鈥檙e married or in a long-term committed relationship, financial improvement won鈥檛 happen unless you鈥檙e both on board with it.

If your partner isn鈥檛 committed to spending less, then any spending you cut from your own personal expenditures will be quickly devoured by the lack of spending controls in your marriage. In other words, your partner will find a way to spend it because your partner isn鈥檛 motivated to cut spending.

There are a few financial moves you can make on your own if you don鈥檛 have a full family commitment.

You can contribute more to your own retirement plan. Just go to the human resources office and either start a retirement plan (if available) or bump up your own contribution.

You can start your own savings plan. Open a savings account at another bank and transfer money regularly from your primary checking to this private savings account.

The problem with both of these ideas is that they both reduce the pool of available money in your checking account and if it鈥檚 not also met with some spending changes on at least your behalf, it鈥檚 not going to fix anything on its own.

The key thing to remember is this: when you鈥檙e in a committed relationship with fully shared expenses, every dollar you spend or your partner spends costs both of you. It鈥檚 money that鈥檚 taken away from saving for the future. It鈥檚 money that鈥檚 taken away from your collective retirement savings. It鈥檚 money that鈥檚 taken away from your collective emergency fund. If you鈥檙e using a credit card, it鈥檚 costing you both in the form of interest if you don鈥檛 pay it off within a few weeks.

So, what do you do if your partner isn鈥檛 on board with the financial change you seek? I鈥檇 suggest that you both read by David Bach, but this would require your partner鈥檚 willingness to read such a book. If your partner isn鈥檛 even willing to think about it, I would suggest marriage counseling, as a deep fundamental disagreement as to what to do with the fruits of your collective labor is something that can very quickly damage a marriage to its very core.

This isn鈥檛 really an optional thing. You need a full family commitment to financial success in order to achieve it. If one partner isn鈥檛 on board with this or is secretly spending money, you鈥檙e never going to find the success you desire and that your family deserves.

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