海角大神

For most of us, our memories of the past function quite a lot like a good 鈥渙ldies鈥� radio station. We remember lots of good moments from our past, while much of the ordinary and mundane have been swept away over time.

When I think back to my own past, I tend to almost entirely remember the good moments. If I think for a while, I might recall some of the lesser times in my past, but at first glance, it鈥檚 mostly filled with good thoughts.

I remember the great coworkers and the intellectual joy of my previous work, not the bureaucracy and the frayed family life.

I remember the intellectual curiosity, friendships, and self-determination of my college years, not the challenging nights of studying and the long periods of self-doubt and uncertainty about my future.

I also tend to remember a lot of the peak experiences of my heavy spending years. I remember our overseas travel and my heavy indulgence into expensive hobbies (like golfing and video games). I don鈥檛 remember the periods of uncertainty, the fear of not having enough money to pay the bills, and the constant sense of not having any sort of real long-term direction or hope. I can recall them if I specifically think back to that period for a while, but it鈥檚 not part of what I initially think about when I think about my life then.

It鈥檚 because of that 鈥渘ostalgia fade鈥� that I often think fondly about those overspending days. I remember the joy I had playing golf and buying golf clubs and buying video games and so on. I think fondly about the hotel room Sarah and I shared that overlooked Hyde Park in London. I鈥檒l remember those moments when I seemed to spend freely and without worry.

In those moments, I often find myself tempted to fall back into bad routines. Those are the moments when I can easily talk myself into a bad purchase or even into a sequence of them. Those are the moments when virtually every spending mistake I make occurs.

The truth is that day-to-day life is pretty mundane. The normal days of our lives are the ones that will fade away in the mists of time.

It鈥檚 often tempting to think that we need to 鈥渢reat鈥� ourselves in order to make a mundane day a little bit better or a little bit more memorable. We remember those 鈥減eaks鈥� from our past and compare them to the mundane today and today seems lacking. Wouldn鈥檛 a small purchase remedy that?

No, it 飞辞苍鈥檛.

I have no problem with spending money to make a truly great experience. If you鈥檙e going out for your tenth anniversary dinner with your spouse, splurge! If you鈥檙e going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip, splurge! Make those great experiences as memorable as possible!

On the flip side of that, you have today, which is likely a pretty ordinary day. It鈥檚 going to melt away with the passage of time, just like any other day. Spending money on a 鈥渟pecial鈥� treat isn鈥檛 going to make today memorable or special. Whether you spend money on that treat or not, it鈥檚 going to fade into the woodwork, just like any other average day will.

What will happen is that if you splurge a bit on most of those ordinary days is that you 飞辞苍鈥檛 be able to splurge for those peak experiences.

Buy a yummy coffee every morning and you鈥檝e burnt up the cost of a trip. Buy a book or two each week instead of hitting the library and you鈥檝e devoured a down payment on your dream home.

And what do you get for that? Those little experiences fade away pretty quickly, just like the forgettable songs fade away from regular radio play. The only problem is that you鈥檝e spent your means to do the big, memorable things.

I鈥檝e found two ways to make all of this easier.

First, I keep my eye on the big, memorable things I want in the future. Sure, sometimes I think about the past, but I try hard to keep my focus on what鈥檚 ahead rather than what鈥檚 behind me. I want a home in the country. I want to take my children to every continent. I want to walk away from work when I鈥檓 still young and reasonably healthy.

Second, I view a day as being a big success if I spend as little as possible. I try to save my spending for special occasions. An ordinary day doesn鈥檛 need me to buy a special perk to make it 鈥渟pecial.鈥� An ordinary day feels pretty good if I accomplish a few things and I keep my spending as low as possible, but it鈥檚 still an ordinary day, and it will still be an ordinary day if I splurge a little.

I derive part of the joy of an ordinary day from not spending money because I know it puts a piece in place for the big things I dream of down the road.

As for memories? I know that today 飞辞苍鈥檛 possibly match the big memories of my past. Instead, today is much like the thousands of days in my life that I鈥檝e forgotten about. I just hope that I can use today to build another one of those big moments.