海角大神

Sarah and I have been a committed couple for roughly fifteen years, including our courtship and marriage. During that time, we鈥檝e had the opportunity to give each other many gifts due to anniversaries and birthdays and Christmases and just special occasions.

When I look back on those gifts, the ones I remember the most clearly weren鈥檛 the most expensive ones or the ones that I wound up enjoying the most. The ones I remember were the ones where Sarah put thought into the gift and made a genuine effort to either make or find something unique and special that I would like.

It鈥檚 those special, sincere gifts that I remember most fondly.

One great example of this type of sincere gift was when Sarah made me several dozen handmade krumkake and wrapped them in a box. (Krumkake, for those unaware, is a very light Norwegian waffle cookie.)

The ingredients for these cookies didn鈥檛 cost much at all. What it took was a lot of thoughtfulness and a little bit of time. She had witnessed me enjoying the cookies at one of her family gatherings and conceived of the idea on her own.

Sarah doesn鈥檛 remember the times I purchased roses for her, but she does remember the time I went into a farmer鈥檚 field and picked a ton of wild flowers for her for a bouquet.

She doesn鈥檛 remember most of the gifts I鈥檝e bought her, but she does remember the letters I wrote her when we were apart while we were first dating.

She doesn鈥檛 remember the first time we went out to eat together, but she remembers the first time I prepared a meal at home.

What鈥檚 the key thing here? In each case, the thing given to the other person was sincere and from the heart. It took time and love and care and thought to make it, something that rarely exists with purchased gifts or purchased meals.

If you want to build a lasting relationship, give gifts of sincerity. Don鈥檛 give nothing, and don鈥檛 give something that鈥檚 simple or obvious, either.

Watch the person you鈥檙e with. Think about what they really enjoy. Put in the homework and the effort on your own to find the right thing for that person or, even better, make the right thing for that person.

Rather than just fulfilling an obligation, you鈥檒l build a connection and memories that will last a lifetime, and they鈥檒l probably cost you far less as well.

This post is part of a yearlong series called 鈥�365 Ways to Live Cheap (Revisited),鈥� in which I鈥檓 revisiting the entries from my book 鈥�365 Ways to Live Cheap,鈥� which is available聽at Amazon聽and at bookstores everywhere.