Five things we learned about the stock market in 2016
Markets, we thought we knew you. But now that we鈥檝e hit the seven-year (bull market) mark in our relationship, we鈥檝e noticed that you鈥檝e grown increasingly moody. Unpredictable. Unstable, even. And quite volatile. There, we said it.
The wine, flowers and chocolates you鈥檝e been sending after your benders are nice and all. But someday that鈥檚 not going to be enough. Our fortunes are tied to yours, and you鈥檙e beginning to scare us. If we鈥檙e going to make this long-term relationship work, we need to discuss five things we observed about you in 2016.
1. We get it, you hate the dark winter months
When you showed up for work at the beginning of the year, disheveled, unshowered and in quite a mood, our hopes of a January effect 鈥� when stocks start the year with a rally 鈥� were immediately dashed. In short order it was clear that this wasn鈥檛 just a mild case of the Mondays. Your sudden weight loss, one of the worst opening weeks in history, followed by weeks of irritability had us bracing for a bleak 2016.
In March, the extra hour of sunshine from daylight saving time worked its magic. Investors who stood by their stocks 鈥� the听听鈥� were rewarded for their patience. By the end of March, the S&P 500 and Dow Jones industrial average were behaving as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
2. We鈥檙e not thrilled with the effect your British friends have had on you
In June, once again it seemed that our bull market honeymoon might come to an abrupt end when your buddies in Britain decided they needed space to work through some things and voted to unfriend the European Union.
We know you were blindsided by the breakup. But did you really have to join your fancy international friends in their depressive stupor? Did you even consider how your behavior would affect us? Have you ever seen someone ugly-cry over their听?
You even managed to make investors nostalgic about January鈥檚 sell-off. Thankfully the Brangelina breakup refocused your attention stateside, which leads us to 鈥�
3. On a positive note, we鈥檙e proud of how quickly you sobered up after the election shocker
All of us here on planet Earth were ready to react to a Hillary Clinton win the day after the election, even you. Then in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, Carl Icahn excused himself from the president-elect鈥檚 victory party to join the rowdy international investing crowd already trading on the shocking news. Global markets plunged, and S&P 500 futures fell 5%.
Thank you for not checking Twitter in the middle of the night. That, and the time zone difference, meant that we all woke up to a recovering market. By the time we got around to checking our 401(k) balances, both the Dow and the S&P 500 looked no worse for wear.
4. Also, congratulations on being totally right in (March June September)听December about the Fed鈥檚 decision to raise interest rates
Brilliant strategy: Just keep making a prediction and eventually you鈥檒l get it right. This was totally the year, you said. It wasn鈥檛 your fault that Brexit, China, cheap oil and a 鈥渕eh鈥� job-growth report were among the reasons the Fed bided its time. On Wednesday, Dec. 14, when everyone was definitely, absolutely 100% (actually, 98%) positively sure that the Federal Reserve Board would pull the trigger, we were tickled when you acted surprised for a couple of minutes for show and then made happy hour plans at a low-key bar around the corner.
5. We really, really hope that this isn鈥檛 one of your manic phases
Apologies, but we have to ask: Was the no-good, very bad start to 2016 just a head fake? Have you been pulling a classic 鈥渦nderpromise and overdeliver鈥� maneuver so we鈥檒l excuse your behavior earlier this year? Have you and the traders on the floor of the NYSE been working out and exchanging protein-shake recipes?
Don鈥檛 get us wrong, you鈥檙e looking great. As of this typing, the Dow Jones industrial average is ThisClose to hitting 20,000, your S&P 500 Index teammate is perched at 2,274, and your tech-savvy Nasdaq Composite buddy is benching 5,481. But how much longer can you keep it up without driving us, and you, batty?
Let鈥檚 agree that we don鈥檛 need more drama in our relationship in 2017. OK, then? Good chat, love.
Dayana Yochim is a staff writer at NerdWallet, a personal finance website: Email: dyochim@nerdwallet.com.Twitter:听.
This article was written by and was originally published by听.
听
