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In a perfect world, parents would start saving for college soon after the delivery of their bundle of joy, but with the demands of the present moment, new parents can鈥檛 always save for the future. A couple鈥檚 lifestyle and expenses incurred while raising a child often trump saving for college.

Of course, many parents want to help their children in any way that they can, at any age; but financially supporting grown children by dishing out loans or cash gifts can be risky. You don鈥檛 want to jeopardize your own retirement.

Here are a few tips to consider if your child is moving back home.

1. Pay off debt.

The first order of business for you and your child is to聽聽the student loans. If you co-signed for your child鈥檚 loan, you are on the hook if your child defaults. It鈥檚 not uncommon for college graduates and their parents (as co-signers) to have over $100,000 in debt. If neither of you can make the monthly payment, then get in touch with the lender聽to聽. Remember, if your son or daughter has federal loans, it鈥檚 the government鈥檚聽job to work with you.

2. Don鈥檛 touch your retirement plan.

Do not cash out your 401(k) plan to pay down your student鈥檚 debt. Because you love your child more than you love yourself, you may be tempted to use聽retirement funds聽to help reduce his or her debt load. Don鈥檛. You may end up having聽to move in with your kid and his or her family when you鈥檙e older.

3. Charge your child rent.

If you鈥檙e financially strapped, you can apply the money to the cost of feeding another hungry mouth in your house; otherwise, apply it to the student loans.

4. Insist that your child get a job.

Even if his or her ideal job is not attainable right now, your child should start working. I鈥檝e had clients continue to support their kids long after graduation, paying their rent, car payment, cellphone bills and more. Meanwhile, the new graduate was not working, but instead searching for the perfect job. While each party knew it wasn鈥檛 the right thing to do, they became caught in a vicious cycle with tangled-up emotions of guilt, shame and remorse. Trust me, this is not healthy for you or your child. Almost any kind of work is better than doing nothing; employers notice if an applicant has been idle for a period of time. And besides, how can your child pay you rent without a job?

5. Decide on a budget with your child and make sure it sticks.

That means your child may have to forgo some 鈥渓uxuries鈥� such as Netflix or the latest iPhone. Don鈥檛聽lose the ability to afford聽your聽lifestyle to bankroll聽a lifestyle that your child聽couldn鈥檛 otherwise maintain.

6. Set a reasonable goal for when your child will move out.

This could possibly be when the loans are paid off. It will give you and your child the financial freedom you each desire. He or she may be able to buy a home, or at least live independently, and you can secure your retirement.

Being careful, or even strict, about how much support you provide your children isn鈥檛 just about teaching them how to manage their finances and be self-sufficient. At the end of the day, you don鈥檛 want to burden your children by relying聽on them to take care of聽youfinancially.

So before turning on the 鈥渧acancy鈥� sign at your empty nest, ask yourself: Can I afford this? Will supporting my child undermine my own financial security? Ultimately, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others, and that includes kids returning to the nest.

This article first appeared at .聽Learn more about Jeff聽on NerdWallet鈥檚 'Ask an Advisor.'