So you want to win the New Yorker caption contest? Here鈥檚 how in 6 steps.
It鈥檚 hard to win The New Yorker magazine鈥檚 cartoon caption contest. If you enter, it鈥檚 unlikely that your caption will be either a finalist or a winner. But that doesn鈥檛 deter an average of 5,000 people nearly every week from submitting their ideas for the captionless drawing that appears in each issue.
How hard is the contest? Film critic Roger Ebert entered 107 times before his 108th caption was deemed a winner. He entered 92 more times and didn鈥檛 win, before he died in April 2013. Other famous nonwinners include former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, composer John Williams, actor and comedian Zach Galifianakis, and journalist Maureen Dowd.聽
Then there鈥檚 Chicago-based attorney Lawrence Wood. Wood has been a finalist 15 times and a winner eight times. 鈥淗e鈥檚 won it the most, he鈥檚 the best at it, he鈥檚 the GOAT,鈥� writes Bob Mankoff, former cartoon editor of The New Yorker, in his foreword to Wood鈥檚 book, 鈥淵our Caption Has Been Selected: More Than Anyone Could Possibly Want To Know About The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest.鈥�
The rules of the contest are fairly simple, according to the magazine: 鈥淲e provide an original cartoon in need of a caption. You, the reader, can submit a caption for that week鈥檚 contest.鈥�
People ages 13 and older can submit one entry on the magazine鈥檚 website or Instagram account. Readers rank those submissions. The New Yorker鈥檚 cartoon department reviews the top vote-getters and narrows them down; then readers pick the winner. There鈥檚 no prize beyond the glory that goes with having your name and caption appear in the magazine.
This is the 25th year of the caption contest. Wood not only explains its history, but also offers rules and tips for improving your entry. The book is illustrated with 175 New Yorker cartoons 鈥� with examples of winning and losing captions. He uses his own great and not-so-great captions to reinforce his advice.聽
His first rule is pretty simple: Correctly identify the character who鈥檚 delivering the line. Wood features a cartoon showing a man and a woman at a table drinking coffee. The man鈥檚 head is obscured by a brick wall resting on his shoulders. Some of the top-ranked captions picked by readers included 鈥淢y ex-wife got most of the house鈥� and 鈥淚鈥檓 not seeing anyone right now.鈥� But those didn鈥檛 win, explains Wood, because the character with a visible mouth 鈥� in this case the woman 鈥� should deliver the line. The winning caption was, 鈥淒o you mind if I bounce something off you?鈥�
Rule No. 2: Make sure you know what鈥檚 happening in the cartoon. Wood wrote a caption showing what he thought was a tray of scones being offered to a man and a woman by the Grim Reaper. The man (according to Wood鈥檚 caption) says, 鈥淔ine. More for me.鈥� But the cartoon鈥檚 artist drew lemons, not scones, and the winning caption was, 鈥淗e says making lemonade is not an option.鈥澛�
Other rules include some excellent writing basics:聽
Don鈥檛 just describe what鈥檚 happening in the cartoon. Tell a story.聽
Accept the premise of the cartoon, no matter how outlandish, but ensure that your caption makes sense within the parameters of this premise.
Choose your words carefully. Eliminate unnecessary words. Many captions in the contest are similar, and an extra word or two can decide which captions make the cut.聽
Note: Not every caption is short. One cartoon in the book shows two cave men chatting. The winning caption: 鈥淪omething鈥檚 just not right 鈥� our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organic and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.鈥�
鈥淢ost humans enjoy cartoons and winning things, especially things that are statistically difficult to win,鈥� says Emma Allen, The New Yorker鈥檚 current cartoon editor, about why the contest is so popular. 鈥淎nd submitting is a bit like getting to throw an opening pitch at a baseball game 鈥� for a brief moment, you get to act like one of the pros, whether or not the ball goes anywhere near home plate.鈥澛�
