Bad Dog: A Love Story
I never would have thought it possible but I鈥檝e actually become one of those people who shakes her head in disgust when she walks by a stack of dog-related memoirs.
Believe me, it鈥檚 not that I鈥檓 anti-dog. (Just ask my absurdly pampered mixed-breed.) And it鈥檚 not that I don鈥檛 like dog books. (I was reading and rereading Albert Payson Terhune decades before John Grogan thought to write a memoir about his dog.)
It鈥檚 just that there are way too many of them. So I have pretty much resolved to stop reading or recommending them.
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Except for Bad Dog: A Love Story. Martin Kihn is just too talented 鈥� I still don鈥檛 know how a writer can be that laugh-out-loud funny while chronicling a major life crisis 鈥� and his story is just too good to miss. (And of course the soulful pictures of Hola, his lovely Bernese mountain dog, don鈥檛 hurt either.)
Kihn and Hola, it would seem, were a match made in heaven 鈥� although it took a while for that to become apparent.
Kihn and his wife Gloria were living in Manhattan, pursuing their careers with varying degrees of success 鈥� and trying to ignore his drinking problem 鈥� when they bought Hola. Gloria hoped for companionship, as she wasn't getting much from her husband. But the dog they picked turned out to be the problem puppy from Hades.
鈥淚 noticed one of the litter careening around like a nutcase, kicking newspaper out of the way, trying to chew a hole in the back wall, and doing a Mexican hat dance with her hind legs,鈥� Kihn would later recall. 鈥�鈥楪辞蝉丑,鈥� I remember thinking, 鈥榳hat鈥檚 wrong with that one?鈥�鈥�
What was wrong, of course, was that they took her home.
Hola grew up to be a dog who was 鈥渘aturally dominant,鈥� incapable of feeling pain, and 鈥渁s outgoing as Ethel Merman on Jolt.鈥�
Instead of plugging up the holes in their marriage, her wild behavior became one more source of stress. When she attacked Gloria one day, Gloria decided she鈥檇 had enough of the whole scene. She packed her bags, leaving Kihn, now newly sober, alone with a seriously problematic canine.
Hola came within an inch of going to the pound that day but of course she didn鈥檛. She had her resources 鈥� mainly 鈥渁 big smile that she throws around town like a stack of religious pamphlets鈥� 鈥� and Kihn simply could not let her go.
Instead, the two creatures began to help each other, the one learning how to live without alcohol and the other preparing to earn a Canine Good Citizen certificate (a process that 鈥渃onsists of ten tests that seem simple unless you鈥檙e unfortunate enough to have an actual dog.鈥�)
All good dog stories, of course, are just barely disguised people stories and 鈥淏ad Dog鈥� is no exception. Kihn begins the book with a C.S. Lewis quote (鈥淭o love and admire anything outside yourself is to take one step away from utter spiritual ruin鈥�) and that鈥檚 really what this book is about 鈥� how Kihn鈥檚 love for his dog becomes greater than his love for himself.
But if you鈥檙e imagining something treacly think again. Kihn prefers humor to sentiment and for the most part we feel his love rather than read about it.
He also has the good judgment to tell us just enough about both Hola鈥檚 CGC training and his sobriety to keep the story moving 鈥� but not so much as to drown us in either.
It is 鈥渋mpossible to maintain a conviction of universal despair for a significant length of time when you are in proximity to a Bernese mountain dog,鈥� writes Kihn. It is this little-known law of zoology that keeps Kihn鈥檚 head above water as he obsessively trains his dog and desperately hopes to win his wife back.
鈥淗umility is not thinking less of myself,鈥� Kihn finally realizes. 鈥淚t鈥檚 thinking of myself less.鈥�
It鈥檚 a dog trainer who helps Kihn to have this epiphany. Hola, of course, gets there way before he does. But she forgives him and so will readers, who ultimately are left hoping that Gloria will do the same.
Marjorie Kehe is the Monitor鈥檚 book editor.
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