Love, Mom: Poignant, Goofy, Brilliant Messages from Home
More than ever, publishing today is a risky business.聽Bringing a book into the world is a gamble, and the best way to gamble, of course, is to reduce the number of unknowns in the game.聽
It鈥檚 a calculus that works in the favor of Doree Shafrir and Jessica Grose, co-authors of Love, Mom: Poignant, Goofy, Brilliant Messages from Home.
They鈥檙e young writers from New York鈥檚 blogosphere, and their first book may be the best of a new publishing trend: turning successful blogs into books.聽Shafrir and Grose get arguably closer than any other bloggers to making the genre-jump work.
They started PostcardsFromYoMomma.com roughly a year ago, after Grose sent Shafrir an e-mail from her mother.聽Shafrir suggested they collect them, and a blog 鈥減henomenon,鈥� as they call it, was born.聽The site averages 500,000 page views a month and attracts international attention.
The book based on their blog, which came out last month, is an attractive physical package: Larger than the tiny novelty products sold next to cash registers to last-minute binge buyers, 鈥淟ove, Mom鈥� is a real book, durable but cute.聽And its price 鈥� $17.99 for a hardback! 鈥� is persuasively quaint.
Ultimately, though, 鈥淟ove, Mom鈥� functions as a novelty book.聽While the authors add some breezy introductory material to their chapters, along with distracting trivia about and advice for moms, the meat of the book is e-mails and instant message chats between mothers and their grown kids, both of whom remain anonymous.
The messages are arranged topically into chapters that sketch a familiar and somewhat clich茅d portrait of mothers: technologically backward, simultaneously fashion-conscious and clueless, mediators of family rivalries and makers of unmatchable bean dips, the composite Mom of Shafrir and Grose鈥檚 book is one who doles out not-so-subtle hints about weddings and grandchildren and mostly off-the-mark advice about relationships and hairstyles, even as she asks for help from her kids on using Facebook, following the latest 鈥渂lobs,鈥� or buying things on eBay.
The authors do a charming job of sketching 鈥渆ssential mom-ness,鈥� as they call it.聽But more fun are the mom-memes that emerge quietly from the material they鈥檝e collected.
Mothers, for whatever reason, seem to prefer the shorthand 鈥減uter鈥� to 鈥渃omputer.鈥澛燭hey are, apparently, universally concerned with how the hit HBO television series 鈥�Sex and the City鈥� has influenced their daughters鈥� professional and love lives.聽They seem to find wry humor in the phrase 鈥減arental units.鈥�
But the real gems of the book are excerpts where moms inadvertently shake off the stereotype of a role they鈥檒l never escape (at least not as long as it鈥檚 their daughters and sons who are circulating their e-mails).
The story one mom tells about a sick cat entertains not because it reveals mom-ness, but because the woman behind the e-mail is a naturally good storyteller.聽In another e-mail, the idiosyncratic limits of unconditional love are on display: 鈥淸Bring] me your new book.聽I don鈥檛 want to spend money unless it鈥檚 a keeper.鈥�
The best example may be the mother who sweetens her tough-love advice with a gentle opening.聽She mimics the book鈥檚 composite mom saying, 鈥淚t鈥檚 hard-wired into parents, part of our DNA.聽 We love our children no matter what.鈥�
But she goes on to reveal a sense of humor and a personality that is uniquely her own: 鈥淚鈥檓 sure Paris Hilton鈥檚 parents love [her] 鈥� certainly Jeffrey Dahmer鈥檚 mother loved him.鈥澛營t makes a daughter laugh out loud, but it implies a limit most moms aren鈥檛 willing to discuss with their kids, or perhaps even themselves: a mother鈥檚 love makes you special 鈥� but only to your mother.
It鈥檚 these moments, where the book turns essential mom-ness on its head, that are most worthwhile. But they are lamentably, if unsurprisingly, few.
Like other books from blogs, 鈥淟ove, Mom鈥� is essentially a dose of pop anthropology.聽It鈥檚 the written word鈥檚 equivalent of a coffee-table book, meant to playfully catalog its subject鈥檚 habits.
But like coffee-table books 鈥� or, for that matter, blogs 鈥� 鈥淟ove, Mom鈥� should be read only a few pages at a time. Because it turns out that mom-ness is best ingested a few small, gleeful doses at a time.
Jina Moore is a freelance writer in Brooklyn.
